Listen, I’ll be the first to admit Adam Lambert is a good singer. But pipes do not make up for a surprising lack of a personality. I’d rather hear Tom Waits gargle hot rocks into a microphone, than a singer who panders commercially.
Adam Lambert, a runner-up on American Idol, is most noted for his Broadway falsetto, broad range, and thus-far boring material. Fangirls are eagerly anticipating his attempt to move into the mainstream this November, with the album, “For Your Entertainment”. Never mind that the title sounds like boring, deep-fried and put into a burrito for you to consume, if the album cover is any indication, the album comes with a unicorn you can ride on and glitter you can sprinkle from the roof-tops. Also, it looks like they were going for a David Bowie had sex with a photoshop retoucher vibe, who then had sex with the cover of a Poison album.
This album is one step away from a parade that’s one step away from a Michael’s Craft Store that’s one step away from Hamburger Mary’s in West Hollywood. If it were any more retouched, you could put it in a wax museum and it would survive the sun burning out. It’s more plasticky than Barbie’s recycling center. It’s more cheesy than France. If France were on the moon.
Who wants to bet the music’ll be forgettable? This guy. Have at it, fangirls.