Aww, man. I’ve been waiting for a calendar to satiate my raging boner for far too long. Since time unrecorded, I have been forced to stare at puppies in adorable poses and kittens in adorable poses and sometimes tried to make the puppy and kitty calendars fight each other. Thank God I’ve ordered this calendar of conservative women, that are good for America.
All I’ve wanted to do for the last six months is touch myself and look at Carrie Prejean. Now, I can sit back with a glass of port and….WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL IS THIS?
Initial Impression: dear God, I’ve been had. These women are all dressed like dudes. Not just any dudes. Boring, vintage wearing dudes. And some of them don’t even look like women, they LOOK like dudes. This is a calendar of women dressed like dudes for dudes that like America. And my penis can’t take it. And neither should America. Here we go.
I have no idea who Kate Obenshain is. But she’s talking about liberty and the founding fathers. I guess that’s what the founding fathers would’ve wanted, was a calendar of conservative women to look at. While they got high off snuff and diddled their slaves. Not a single one of the founding fathers would be electable now. Because they had new ideas.
Token old woman. Clare Boothe Luce. She has the name of a stripper. And apparently wanted to be a Broadway actress, then turned to liberal Hollywood and wrote bad screenplays, then into a member of the liberal media, then into a conservative politician. She must’ve had quite a time hating herself.
Sweet Jesus, Anne Coulter has to have an eating disorder. We can see right through to her trachea. She’s literally the closest thing we’ll ever have to a zombie horse/human hybrid. She crawled out of the grave to lick your sugar cubes, America. And she has a quote trashing Canada. Trashing Canada is the equivalent of retard jokes for the jet-setting type.
I bet the jeans these broads are wearing weren’t even made in America. I bet they were made by Michelle Malkin’s distant Filipino relations. Who she thinks shouldn’t get into America, because they’ll undermine national security and then Barry Obama will personally craft them into terrorists.
Don’t know her.
That’s a dude.
Michele Bachmann is kinda hot, if you make sure you can’t see her ears. Or her mouth isn’t moving. Half of which this calendar accomplishes. Well played, photographer.
LOOK! CARRIE PREJEAN! If this is the ratio of attractive conservative women to not-attractive, have fun recruiting. By now, my erection couldn’t be any more dead if I were looking at tortured sea otters and somebody pistol whipped it. The erection, not the sea otters.
Pat Buchanan has a sister? Wow, that must’ve been a giant party to grow up in. “STOP DANCING. THE GAYS WILL TAKE OVER.”
I don’t recognize this old lady, but something tells me she loves baking pies.
Don’t know her.
Here’s a lady who isn’t white! I bet she has new ideas! Oh, wait. She just had a bunch of abortions, and then turned conservative. Well, good for you, lady. Pooh poohing everyone after the fact.
Jesus Christ, these women talk about America more than a drunk at a parade. But their shirts are all ironed. One wonders if that’s the work of stylists, or good ol’ fashioned tradition values.
Wait…my erection’s back. You will not win, calendar of dude-women. Prepare yourself, Clare Boothe Luce.
(Photos Via: LA Times)
Comments
kevin
October 26th, 2009 - 11:27:19 AM
if you cant get it up you cant get it in.