Good news. Are you barely literate? Do you only kinda like movies and entertainment, when you manage to con people into bringing you into fancy theaters? Did you really like the Star Wars sequels, think the new Indiana Jones movie was awesome, and are no longer a ward of the state? Then there’s an action figure for you.
Yes. An Indiana Jones action figure. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull put the phrase nuking the fridge into the vernacular, the cinematic equivalent of jumping the shark. The movie went on to gross 700 million dollars worldwide the same way terrible Madonna albums still continue to chart: brand recognition.
So in case you want to commemorate the movie that everyone hated, provided they were semi-conscious and not eating ‘ludes, like Quaker Oats, be prepared to plunk down $175 to buy an action figure of Indiana Jones emerging triumphantly from his refrigerator, like a beautiful butterfly breaking free from a cocoon of bad dreams and burning crosses. The action figure is made by Sideshow Collectibles, who apparently think that commemorating a cinematic travesty is worth nearly two-hundred dollars. Maybe I can spend the $20 bucks I got back berating the guy working the ticket booth and set it aside so I can make payments on Indiana Jones and his fridge. My television stand is depressingly empty.