Salman Rushdie Is Still The World’s Smallest Pimp

By Mark Lorenz on October 22nd, 2009

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Pimpin‘ ain’t easy. But apparently it is, if you have a fatwa issued against you. You might even be able to use that as a pick-up line. Baby, I’m gonna press my fatwa against you, and you’re going to love it. This is a story about Salman Rushdie getting with women. Put on your ear-muffs.

Haters gon' hate.

Recently, Salman’s ex-Pia Glenn, best known for playing Lil’ Condoleezie Rice in Will Ferrell’s stage production of George W. Bush has come out swinging against him, saying he’s a mean, manipulative little prick. That he’s still obsessed with Padme Lakshmi. He fought back with words by saying essentially, that he may look like a mean, manipulative little prick, but she’s unemployed and crazy. Which is pretty harsh. And then he promptly went out and shagged a 26-year-old model chaser. That he seduced through Facebook.

Look at this man. Look at him. He is the ideal with which we need to hold ourselves. All of us fattening, pajama-wearing blog writers don’t need good looks, height, or a face that doesn’t look like a demon. All we need is some gumption, and one of the most well-regarded works of literature in the last 100 years. That’s all. We too, can be married four times and date models and women a full two feet taller than us.

Get on it.

To be fair, the woman, Min Lieskovsky, sounds like a vapid-hobag who’s completely impressed with herself. But still, the man married Padme Lakshmi. Jesus christ.