Two janitors from New York are currently being charged with a number of crimes ranging from intent to sell drugs to grand larceny. Why? Because they created a secret man cave at their place of employment.
In this grown man’s version of The Secret Garden, the two custodians converted a storage area in a parking garage into a little private wonderland where they would take naps, watch tv, and spark up the occasional tower for fun and profit. This went on until recently, when the cops very uncoolly broke up their party and arrested them.
I ask, what was their crime (other than violating U.S. law and shirking their duties)? Just so we’re clear, they were selling marijuana from their little home away from home, but I submit to you: what man on earth doesn’t dream of a secret room where he can watch porn and fart at will? And occasionally move a couple of O-Zs?
For now, the two janitors have been suspended from their jobs without pay, and one of them is out of jail on $5,000 bail. I feel sorry for the poor bastard. Not because he’s facing some fairly serious criminal charges, but because he has to go back to his crappy house containing his wife (who is probably more than a little pissed off), kids, and no 12-foot bong nicknamed “Big Punisher.”
Ah well. Goodnight, you princes of laziness, you kings of reefer.
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