Yesterday, Adam Lambert’s new single, “Time For Miracles”, hit the internet, to the satisfaction of his legions of crazed fans. But how did it sound? How can one person accurately describe a single so many people have been waiting for for so long?
It was like Celine Dion pushing Steve Tyler out of her birth canal. And it continues the American Idol tradition of giving people from the show incredibly boring songs to sing over, in the hope that people will not notice, and buy anyway. Basically, it’s verse, chorus, verse, bridge, SUPER OVERBLOWN CHORUS WITH SCREAMING. To the epic tune of buildings falling over. Apparently, Rolland Emmerich wants to recreate every nuance of Armageddon. The movie, not the event. Although we may be fast approaching the event.
For cripes sake, people have been making fun of Bob Dylan’s Christmas album for the last two weeks, but the man knew you didn’t need a super-polished voice complete with legions of strings in the background to move people emotionally. All you need are words that resonate and a beat-up guitar. Not comparing Adam Lambert to Bob Dylan, but it looks like he’ll be in a long line of pop stars with really pretty voices that also manage to be really boring.
We’re looking at you, Celine Dion.
Time For Miracles
Adam Lambert | MySpace Video
“And it continues the American Idol tradition of giving people who win the show incredibly boring songs to sing over, in the hope that people will not notice, and buy anyway.”
He didn’t so much win, but I agree with the statement nomnetheless.
Are you kidding me? At first I thought you were complimenting Adam with the Dion/Tyler comment. At least you dogged him with good company. First, this is not his song, not off his album, but just something already in the works that they asked him to do. He said it is not like his upcoming album. Secondly, you obviously have no musical background. And lastly, the entire production of the video, not just Adam, was amazing.
again with the Celine bashing? she take yr lunch money dude?
Yes. Because Adam Lambert is underwhelming, and someone disagrees with your taste, I have no musical background.
http://www.gifflix.com/files/7868c9eaa99d.gif
Mark Lorenz, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! Whats your problem? Obviously no taste in good music. You must be blind/deaf not to notice a miracle unfolding in the form of this video. ADAM LAMBERT is a musical/theatrical miracle of our time. I am sad for you to be missing out big time. This must be what they call ignorance?
great article, boring song. I can’t believe people are disagreeing with you. The video was boring too. They just filmed him walking down a street the whole time and cut in a bunch of footage from the 2012 movie. the only thing amazing about it is that someone found it amazing. the obvious low budget beauty shots of him walking were a huge distracting contrast to the way-over-done cgi film footage. the only real production value in his walking shots (the only thing actually filmed specifically for this video) lie in the amounts of hair gel, greasepaint, and vampire clothes they piled on him to make him look like the ultimate dandy. dumb video. boring singer. his god given vocal talents are wasted on his lame derivative material. there you go mark.
Why are you guys so jealous of this gorgeous man? Oh that’s why, he’s a gorgeous man. Beautiful man, beautiful song, win-win for us.
whatever snow queen, I’m way prettier than he is
whatever john wyatt, i doubt you’re anywhere near as pretty as he. he’s quite the looker, sorry.
To have this song and this video be the first thing to launch your career after idol is pure genius. I hand it to Adam well done. The video may be thrown together and may not have the production quality of a true music video but it show cases very well Adam’s enormous talent and range. Your article is not only short sighted but it is almost vicious.You seem like a foolish school boy trying to act so cool by being mean. Someday you will look back on your words and hope no one else does.
Sorry, crazed fangirls. I will never look back on being underwhelmed by a pop star with regret.
The song still sucks. Sorry to disappoint your fluttering hearts.
ADAM storm has arrived and lot of guys are jealous of his popularity and feeling small so they try to find a way to vent it by writing such article
Mark is clearly a bitter little boy.
I’m thinking that your mother rejected you as a child and you had to suckle off your own Dads milk.
MArk cant write an article without trying to leech off of Celine Dions success….. actually he cant seem to write a proper article at all.
If I had to blow my dad as a baby, I’d have forgotten by now. And the sound of me suckling penis as a baby would still sound better than Adam Lambert’s new song and 99% of Celine Dion’s back catalogue.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But to say that Adam is BORING? Boring? He may be a lot of things but boring is not one of them. If you are just now discovering Adam you may not realize the huge number of fans he already has who have never been more excited about an artist. Did you know he has 213,000 people following him on twitter? The excitement and anticipation surrounding this man is incredible. I suppose time will tell, and I for one will be watching, and listening, very closely.
It has always been true that when a new wave hits, there will be some old grouches sitting around knocking it. My dear old Dad, rest his soul, told me for years that the Beatles would not last. There will always be those people who sit in front of the tv watching old movies and who don’t believe anything new will ever be as good as anything old. Oh, well…their loss.
what I find funny is that the same people who are calling time for miracles boring are going to be the ones complaining that his album is too over the top when it comes out. Personally I loved the song, and the video was pretty good…the parts adam was in were great…showed off his acting ability nicely. I can’t wait to see what he does with his album…its gona blow us away. And if you don’t like adam lambert or his music that’s ok…he’s not singing it for you, he’s singing it for his fans who love him.
You’re comparing Adam Lambert to the Beatles and then bagging on old movies?
Come on, fangirls. Turn down the crazy.
I respect your opinion even if I disagree with you. But I will have to point out your claim that ADAM is boring. All hyperboles and positive superlatives in Webster’s have been used to describe ADAM. In fact, there’s not even enough words so fans come up and invent words like adamgasm, adamazing etc. A writer came up with the word wizzoncullent (?) for ADAM. ADAM is creating this tsunami because there has never been anyone like him, not only in AI, but in the music world now. ADAM excites, thrills and electrifies. So, if ADAM is boring for your taste, may we know who is not to you??? And how would you describe Kris Allen then???
REALLY boring. I wouldn’t describe anyone who has gone on Idol as exciting. 90% of the people in the music industry right now are more boring than painted grass.
I’m still waiting for your answer to who is NOT boring to you?
Dear Mark and John, i’m sure that you guys are cute too. Don’t be jealous of Adam. At least you guys know were your women are at now. We are not cheating, We are sitting on the computer drooling over Adam. We are not gambling, taking drugs, or shopping. We might want to have a glass of wine, but just one or two. You have Megan Fox, we have Adam Lambert. We are happy for you, so be happy for us. We still love our men, signed all the women in the world.
Iggy Pop. Jack White. Justice. The Kills.
If “my” woman sat around and drooled over Adam Lambert, we would stop seeing each other. Quickly.
Loved the song. Strange, poorly researched review.
Well, who is NOT BORING to you, Mark Lorenz??? Why can’t you give a name? Still waiting. . .
I just gave you six people.
Hey Mark, but here you are on your computer being influenced by Adam Lambert. You sure do spend alot of time on the computer talking about Adam. What is that old saying about someone protesting too much?
I imagine it’s similar to the shared knowledge that boring girls listen to Adam Lambert.
He’s as edgy as Enya.
It looks like everyone is finally done reacting to your opinions Mark – so now I’ll weigh in…
Your ugly Celine/Aerosmith birthing comment aside (tho I see what you were getting at), it was a bit premature of you to declare that “it looks like he’ll be in a long line of pop stars with really pretty voices that also manage to be really boring” when Adam’s own debut CD hasn’t even been heard yet. You don’t KNOW what he plans his OWN sound to be yet. (But it was nice of you to acknowledge that he has a really pretty voice.
Adam has declared many times that this TFM isn’t the kind of music he plans to do when he’s making his own music. I’m waiting. I expect some to be good, and some, not so much. But ALL to be better than TFM.
Also, not that I would ever defend AI, but in fairness, AI didn’t provide Adam with this boring song, nor did AI have anything to do with the horribly over produced, badly mixed final result. Everyone knew it was going to be exactly what it turned out to be – but those orchestral strings that tried so hard to over-power Adam’s voice were more than irritating. At least the song wasn’t as bad as Aerosmith’s Apocolypse song!
All that said, what did you expect from all the fangirls? Their uncritical, unconditional love for anything Adam has been evident for months – which is why I’ve never joined any of those groups – I like to speak my opinions without being vilified (or kicked out LOL) by some group of 13 yr olds or those who act like it.
I was one of a very small handful of people going on all the blogs and arguing for people to NOT vote for Adam. I didn’t WANT him to win! I didn’t want him to be tied into having to go to Disneyland and singing the National Anthem at sporting events and all the stupid obligations required of the winner. Kris is great for that stuff. I always felt Adam was going to be too huge for that – and he needed the freedom to do his own thing. We’re still waiting to see what he does with that freedom.
BTW, your little list of FOUR (not 6) “not boring” performers was telling. I agree that Iggy has NEVER been boring (and I’ve been seeing him since his little club days in Detroit in the ’60s), but The Kills? Really?
I totally agree with you about Celine Dion tho. ewwww Other than being boring I don’t mind her singing voice, but I can’t STAND to actually watch her sing – or even talk for that matter. Does she have a speech impediment? It can’t be cuz she’s from Montreal.
Keep an open mind Mark, you never know when you might hear something good that surprises you.
Yawn. Really BORING column, Mark! Wish I could get back the 30 seconds it took to read it.