……Than He Was During His Last Action Hero Days:
It’s official, according to the LA TIMES BLOG Gov. Schwarzeeghealrhel;krae;lkrjewklrwej has a 27% approval rating, which is the lowest approval rating he’s has since coming to office, and tied with his popularity the week after he did Red Sonja and everyone was personally embarrassed for him. Apparently his popularity has been seriously affected by both the dismal California economy, and by the fact that the Predator has continued it’s downtown Los Angeles killing spree unabated. Which is what you’d expect when Schwarzenegger sent in Danny Glover to do his work for him.
There are plenty of things Schwarzensdfhaskldfjsklfjne#####g?er can do however to get his popularity back. Below are just a few examples.
1.
He could donate his chest muscles to children who were born without chest muscles.
Everybody loves philanthropy, and nobody likes a child with a weak upper body. Arnold could doubly benefit from his actions by giving his chest muscles, which he no longer needs, because all he has to do is yell and sign bills and wave a knife all day, to a child that will surely need them, for climbing trees, laughing hearty upper body shaking laughs, and cracking open walnuts.
2.
He could age at the same pace as the rest of us.
Apparently, Arnold is so worked out that his skin is stretched so taut on his muscles, that it simply ceases to age. This makes him look plastic-like and terrifying. He looks like a 6 foot tall soldier toy. If he could find a way to make himself age like the rest of him, then we wouldn’t fear his divinity and secretly resent him.
3.
He could find every single person who has made every single Terminator movie since the second one and destroy them.
This would help not only us, but John Conner, who is written as exactly 15% less intelligent with every Terminator sequel, so that by the time we get to the seventh Terminator movie, he will have downs syndrome and think that the Terminators coming at him are giant metal candy canes that want to hug him. He will be very, very wrong.
4.
He could find a way to make his Hummer be powered by the sound of children being cured of Polio.
Hummers are a sign of a lack of environmental awareness and excess materialism, but if his Hummer ran on the sound of children being cured of Polio, then there would be more incentive to cure children with Polio, and that’s just plain going to make everyone happy. Because children with Polio cough way too loudly on the bus and then no one on the bus can read.
5.
He could travel to China and use his brute strength to crush their excess pollution with his bare hands.
China’s rapidly expanding industrial base is taking a heavier and heavier toll on the environment, and scientists have concluded that the only way to reverse the effect of China’s expanding industry on the environment is either to get them to switch to renewable energy sources (unlikely) or to have Arnold Schwarzenegger go over there and crush CO2 molecules by punching them again and again until they turn into simple Carbon and Oxygen molecules. But he hasn’t done this yet, because he is lazy because all his strength makes him tired.
(Photo By: WLadysLaw)
Comments
GeraldM459
October 20th, 2009 - 1:56:23 PM
6. Resign. Resign. RESIGN!