Lady Gaga Still Attractive, Sources Reveal

By Daniel Dominguez on October 20th, 2009

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As it turns out, Lady Gaga is still hot, and the new poster for her tour entitled “Monster Ball” is just another in a long series of evidences proving that Lady Gaga is a physically attractive human being. Scientists have further speculated that in addition to Lady Gaga being attractive, that having sex with her would feel good, and that she is likely soft to the touch, and that the chances are good that her hair smells like a fresh spring morning.  Science considers Lady Gaga’s being quote unquote “hotly f-able” to be as empirically provable as gravity, or evolution.  In fact, they posit, her hotness may have something to do with her fame, although sources close to science have yet come out on whether or not they feel that is conclusive.

Scientists have confirmed several recent theories about Lady Gaga’s physical appearance, including:

“Her Breasts seem great.”

“Breasts in general may be great.”

“I bet she needs to brush her teeth seven times a day because her saliva is made of peppermint candy.” (unconfirmed)

“Her nipples more than likely emit a fragrance not unlike the smell of a mother’s undying love baked into a pie and then served piping hot straight out of the oven.” (confirmed)

However, it’s not all good news.  Scientists fear that Lady Gaga is so physically attractive that her attractive-ness could spread, or potentially become airborne, and infect the local populous.

“The thing about her beauty,”  spoke an unnamed fictional scientists at a similarly fictional press conference, “is that is both constantly mutating, and cannot be stopped.  For instance, one minute her beauty will be wearing sunglasses at night (even though it’s dark at night, making sunglasses superfluous, all part of her charm), the next she’ll be encased in a strange metal ball and leaning slightly back while shirtless dudes gawk at her, which for some reason is totally hot.”

Either way, it is clear, Lady Gaga is a hot looking person, so hot that it may one day destroy us all.

For more info on her new Tour you can go to: Rolling Stone . com.