The SF Gate published an article about Judge Keith Bardwell, an elected justice of the peace for the 8th Ward in Louisiana, who says he “doesn’t do interracial marriages”. According to Bardwell he is “not a racist” he just worries about the children of interracial couples, because those types of relationships often don’t last.
Judge Bardwell went on to say that he doesn’t go out late at night and find cows to tip over because he thinks it would be funny to tip over cows, but because he’s worried that the milk inside the cows isn’t getting enough air.
Luckily for the world, I recently invented a clear plastic board that when you hold it up in front of someone’s mouth while they’re talking you can see what they are actually mean instead of what they are saying. Which when you hold it in front of Judge Bardwell while he says, “I’m not racist. I just worry for the children of those couples because those types of marriages usually don’t last.” It turns out what he’s actually saying is, “I’m so racist, I don’t like non-white people. Ewww… is that a black person…. no wait, that’s just a man standing in the shadows. Phew, that was a close one, I was about to lasso him and put him to work on my expansive plantation that I love so much.”