Ashton Kutcher: Acting Coach.

By Mark Lorenz on October 13th, 2009

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You may know January Jones from her role as the beautiful Betty Draper from the award winning series Mad Men, on AMC. And you might know Ashton Kutcher as that model douchebag who used to punk celebrities, and now has been relegated to a has-been on Twitter.

Well, apparently, they dated. And in a new interview, in GQ, he told her to give up acting, because she wasn’t going to be any good at it. I’ll repeat that. Ashton Kutcher told someone else to give-up acting, because they weren’t going to be any good at it. So here’s an imagined diary from the Ashton Kutcher school of acting.

Day 1:

Today, we did a scene from MacBeth. Ashton told us we weren’t hitting the buttons in our scenes good enough, and they needed to be louder and wackier.

Day 2:

We worked on a scene from Uncle Vanya in Chekhov, where I was delivering the last final monologue about heaven. Ashton said it needed to be louder and wackier.

Day 3:

Ashton took us aside today to give us a talk about our sticking points, but then pretended like his arm had fallen off, and when we were frightened a camera crew came in and taped us. Then he laughed.

Day 4:

Ashton left, to film an action movie about lifeguards with Kevin Costner. The class disbanded on the premise that anyone who thinks it’s a good idea to film an action movie about lifeguards with Kevin Costner, should not be giving advice on anything.