Just One Notable SNL Sketch This Week

By Mark Lorenz on October 12th, 2009

And it was two minutes. Jesus almighty christ. SNL is becoming like a disappointing sexual encounter. You expect an hour or so of ball-busting fun and you get two minutes that leaves you in an existential crisis.

The cold open made fun of Obama winning the Nobel Prize. If there were another sketch comedy show that was up and coming right now, they could probably make fun of the fact that SNL is putting a dude in BLACKFACE to do BAD IMPRESSIONS. They’re a riverboat away from Al Jolson. The writers made the astute observation that Obama won the Nobel Prize because he’s not George W. Bush. That was about it. And claimed Obama was just secretly really really lucky. Right. The guy inherited one of the biggest messes ever. He’s like, Lady Luck personified.

I’m going to write these sketches out. Because seeing them in writing is way less painful than seeing them. Also, on the off-chance the writers read this, look at them. Just look at them. Seriously.

A cooking show, where the hosts are attacked by birds repeatedly, killing Guy Frieri. Or whatever his name is. The big dude with the died hair and fire shirts.
A romance book reading/signing event where the book’s subject shows up, and talks like Batman gargling gravel.
The Italian Talk Show host. Which is actually pretty good.
A sketch about ladies billiards. Sponsored by Tampax. With two hosts that know nothing about billiards.
Gilly. Where a psychotic Kristen Wiig causes problems, which are discovered over the course of what seems like six hours, by a hapless teacher. Which is apparently satire of the ’50s. Which would’ve been pushing funny in the ’50s.
A Larry King Talk Show talking about weiners. As in penises. As in dicks.
A parody advertisement for an online college. As in online colleges are bad. As in, the writers pretend like they didn’t learn how to write sketches through correspondence courses.
Celebrities talking about their encounters with ghosts. Or, castmembers on SNL do passable impressions of famous people. And not in an awesome South Park way.

Oh, god, this was terrible. I think next week, if I’m not drunk, I’m just going to liveblog it.