Burn Hollywood: Ellen Page To Write Hipster Comedy For HBO

By Mark Lorenz on October 8th, 2009

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There are plenty of struggling writers out in Hollywood, chewing on rope for sustenance, in an economy where nobody’s taking any chances and studios have stopped buying up projects en-masse. But guess what? Ellen Page is going to write and produce a comedy about hipsters. Awesome.

Precious hipsters. Precious people in sweaters. The comedy supposedly will outline the perils of hipsterism. What perils? What goddamn perils do hipsters have? They only have the time and energy to be hipsters, because they don’t have any problems. They wear glasses without lenses for christsakes, what perils? Does their vast underground music collection absorb toxic waste then mutate? Do their ironic shirts get burned in a wildfire? Do their parents lose their trust fund in a horrible market crash, and decide to live with them, thereby sapping their street cred?

The plot centers around two artistically inclined girls making the journey from Williamsburg to Silverlake. I have a challenge for you writers out there. Any writers. If you have the resources, get a pitch meeting. Look the executives in the eye, and say, “It’s a story about these, like, artistic girls, taking a journey from Williamsburg to Silverlake.” And watch their reactions. Because you won’t be coming back. Let’s hope Ellen Page has brilliance stowed in her five-head.