My brother sent me a link to a cancer fundraiser his company was doing, called “Tournament Fore Life.” We got real excited for a second until we found out it was just a shitty golf tournament (get it? Tournament FORE Life? Gag.) Not that there’s anything wrong with fighting cancer via putting; it’s just that we had pictured something much more awesome, like a Mortal Kombat Tournament where the winner actually gets to FIGHT cancer as the end boss, and if he wins, everyone is cured. Or if he doesn’t, he immediately dies. You know. Of cancer.
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