There’s nothing wrong with being single, but at some point most people reach the point of wanting a relationship. If you reached that point a while back, but still haven’t had any luck, you might want to check this list to see if anything sounds familiar.
You’re Shallow
If within a few seconds of meeting a woman you have already calculated an estimate of her weight and located any problem areas where cellulite might lurk on her body, you may hereby consider yourself shallow. No matter how hot she is, you’re inevitably going to find her flaws. You will likely remain single until you get over yourself.
You’re Too Independent
Being a bachelor certainly has plenty of perks. You don’t have to wait that extra hour for her to get ready for an outing, and you generally come and go as you please. The thing is, at some point you may actually no longer want to be all alone, and you’re going to have to compromise. Give up a bit of your independence to avoid growing into a lonely old man.
You’re Afraid of Commitment
Tying into your fierce sense of independence is your equally strong fear of commitment. On top of losing your freedom, you don’t want to get married, only to get divorced later and lose half of your stuff. The future is unpredictable, and you can bet that once you settle down, you’ll meet a woman who is hotter, smarter and more successful than the one you’re with. Oh, and she’s going to flirt with you, but too bad — you’re in a committed relationship. Knowing this, you have every right to fear commitment, but getting over that fear is what men do.
You’re a Slob
You need a shave and a haircut. Your dirty laundry is more like a mildew-laced pile of odorous rags, so you wear your t-shirt inside out. There is leftover food on your desk from last week. What’s not to love? Look around, then look at yourself in the mirror. Are you a slob? Chicks don’t really dig slobs.
You’re a Douchebag
Get your collar popped and layer on that spray-tan — let’s talk about why you’re still single. Could you be a douchebag? Some women actually like douchebags, but these ladies are generally not the type you’d take home to meet mom. If you want to meet a nice girl, you’re going to have to tone it down a notch… Or several.
You’re Addicted to Gaming
If by some divine intervention, you actually manage to acquire a girlfriend between day-long bouts of questing, you’re probably in for a let-down since she won’t be around long. You need to cut back, drastically, on your playing habits if you want to maintain a relationship. Just remember, your guild isn’t going to keep you warm at night.
You’re Desperate
Desperation reeks. It’s a fact. Men who are desperate repel women. If you are initially cool enough to get a woman’s phone number, by no means should you ever call her more than twice without her returning your call. She may be busy when you call, but if you call repeatedly, you are ensuring that she will never call you back, and even worse, she’ll hope to never see you again.
You’re the Nice Guy
You’re always helpful, polite, and kind — the type of guy every woman wants, right? Apparently not. Guys that are too nice have a more difficult time moving out of the friend zone than guys who act like complete dicks. Some women even perceive excessive niceness as a weakness of character. You shouldn’t go full douchebag, but don’t be afraid to be a little hard, at times. It just lets her know you’re not a doormat.
You’re a Control Freak
It’s your way, or the highway. There’s no room for compromise in your life. You like things the way you like them, and as long as everything goes according to your plan everything is cool. If you throw a temper tantrum the moment something is out of your control, you may need to lighten up a little.
You’re Too Shy
There comes a time in your life when you have to either man up and deal with your insecurities or face the fact that you’re going to die alone. If you don’t have any confidence when approaching women, enlist some friends to help you out. You may need to serve as a wingman for a while, but pay attention to what the pilot is doing. Observe him and learn how the game is played. And remember this: Alcohol is your friend.
You’re Selfish
Did you fail “Sharing” in kindergarten? If you only ever think of yourself, get used to it because you’re the only person you’ll have to consider as you’ll be single for a while. If you can bring yourself to be a little less self-absorbed and a little more considerate, you may have a shot at a relationship. Try putting others before yourself a little more often.
You’re Broke
If you’re broke all the time, how can you expect to maintain a relationship? You don’t have to buy a girl expensive gifts, but she will like to go out from time to time. If you’re tired of being single, you’ll have to work some dating funds into your budget.
Your Friends Are Assholes
It’s true, you’re judged by the company you keep. If you hang out with jerks, you’re likely a jerk too. Even if you’re not, you can’t stop your friends from acting like assholes and ruining any relationship you might have. Get some better friends.
You’re In Love With Yourself
You’re wonderful and perfect. You don’t need a relationship because everything you do, say and have is so delightful there is really no void to fill. It must be great to be you.
You’re a Workaholic
Being career and goal-oriented isn’t a flaw, but it may take away relationship opportunities. If you’re too busy to have any kind of social life outside of work, you’re already married — to your job.
You’re a Pervert
We all think about sex — a lot. However, if you fail to disengage your eyes and mouth from your perverted thoughts you will repulse women. If you are looking for a relationship, you will need to learn this skill. It’s also a good idea to learn how to clear your cache and browser history.
You’re In Love With Your Ex
Your relationships may never work out if you’re still hung up on the one that got away. It’s best to move forward and let it go, especially if you’re looking for something new. No woman wants to live in the shadow of your ex. It’s also pathetic, so get over it.
You’re Boring
What were you saying? Sorry, I fell asleep. You’re boring. Nobody wants to listen to you tell the same unfunny stories over and over. We’re sure your cat is awesome, but come on. Be interesting if you’re going to talk so much, otherwise just shut up and work the mysterious angle instead.
You’re Obnoxious
You always interrupt when people are speaking, usually to interject a random rude comment. You’re loud and you’re the only person who thinks you’re funny. You’re like nails on a chalkboard to most women, so grow up and try listening to people for once.
You’re a Liar
Telling her that her ass doesn’t look big in those jeans isn’t a lie, it’s self-preservation. Telling her you were at church while you were at the racetrack is a lie. You only have to get caught in one big one to spoil something that could have been nice. Have the balls to tell the truth, just don’t be brutal about it.
Comments
Adam
September 23rd, 2009 - 2:39:52 PM
one reason I'm not single: I'm awesome!
ii
September 23rd, 2009 - 3:20:26 PM
if this list were accurate, pretty much everyone would be single.
anna
September 23rd, 2009 - 3:27:39 PM
I think the trick is to find someone like you....ha ha
suckmydick
September 24th, 2009 - 1:02:39 PM
re:"There’s nothing wrong with being single, but at some point most people reach the point of wanting a relationship." Second part contradicts first part. If there's nothing wrong with being single - then the second part of the sentence wouldn't exist. Manolith: Writings hard and stuff for our like, linkbait. Hur hur school was boring.
jlaw
September 24th, 2009 - 1:04:19 PM
Good try ladies. If we had to fix all of this just to listen to all your craziness, not a one of you would be worth it.
Fred
September 24th, 2009 - 1:13:21 PM
Does losing half my stuff make me a man? Maybe we just don't want to commit to craziness and be financially destroyed paying for prostitutes (wives)
Jason
September 24th, 2009 - 1:23:33 PM
I'm all of these.
PooreyMcPoorPoor
September 24th, 2009 - 1:24:36 PM
I think that being broke goes hand-in-hand with being boring. I happen to be both. I don't have any good stories to tell or any exciting things to do because I don't have two nickles to rub together. This means I have nothing exciting to do because I can't afford to do anything. No interesting stores either because I've never been able to afford to do anything fun. This then made me believe that if I worked harder I would make more money. I quickly became a workaholic to no avail. I then became depressed and began playing WoW after work every night and... Yeah I'm screwed.
Mike
September 24th, 2009 - 1:26:40 PM
Looks like you mixed up the "douchbags" and "assholes" pictures... pretty sure the guys with the spray on tan are the douchebags.
Nick
September 24th, 2009 - 1:28:12 PM
Women come and go. Epics are SOULBOUND!
Jim Jones
September 24th, 2009 - 1:42:27 PM
Ironically enough, the cliche relationship advice is to not settle and "just be yourself." The thing is, if being yourself is the very thing that brings the relationship down maybe you _should_ be changing...? Jim http://www.TextMatch.me -- Love on the go.
doubledipper
September 24th, 2009 - 1:52:46 PM
Spray-On tans? Open your eyes man. Those Nancy's have a full face of make up. I can't tell if it's the backway boys or, gawtti punks.
Bonnie
September 24th, 2009 - 2:21:57 PM
What about: You're gay?
Tig
September 24th, 2009 - 3:32:18 PM
Why are there all pictures of men? Oh yes, because a woman being single is commonly sought as being strong & indepedent whereas a man being single means he's completely hopeless. Good thing this site is here to change men to fit into the mold that womenkind want us to be. Personally I don't want to change, I want to evolve and am single because its difficult to find a woman who's strong enough to realize that tripe like this only deepens the chasm between the sexes. Changing yourself/people is fundamentally flawed and will 9 times out of 10 lead to resentment.
Homie
September 24th, 2009 - 4:20:25 PM
Reason #21: You actually read all 20 Reasons. Get a Life!
subcorpus
September 24th, 2009 - 4:20:49 PM
none of the above ...
Bookend
September 24th, 2009 - 5:17:43 PM
The nice guy thing IS bullshit. That is a fact. Obviously I smell a little bit of irony here.
Meagan Rogers
September 24th, 2009 - 6:22:30 PM
Ok... Yeah... A bit afraid of commitment. I'll admit it.
Jimmy
September 24th, 2009 - 7:19:00 PM
fucking hell i'm way too many of these.
Christoffer
September 24th, 2009 - 7:29:03 PM
Many women are shalow, slobs, afraid of commitments, control freaks, liars, obnoxious, boring, in love with their ex.... Did I mention shallow?
Flower
September 24th, 2009 - 7:38:59 PM
#21 you're indenial.. :)
guille
September 24th, 2009 - 7:39:13 PM
I think the last one can be the cure for others...jajaja
GIL
September 24th, 2009 - 7:45:15 PM
I'm a shallow pervert...hahahaha
NikNatas
September 24th, 2009 - 8:12:16 PM
If you have money, you can do all of the other things and still get action.
Tom
September 24th, 2009 - 8:48:50 PM
NikNatas You are correct
Jamie
September 24th, 2009 - 9:38:40 PM
I think that some people are still single or in the wrong relationship because they care too much about impressing the other person instead of cutting to the chase and putting their flaws along with the good characteristics on the table. Life is short and dating is overrated...just a personal opinion! Outside opinions and advise can make a difference though and can really open your eyes on how people go about the dating process. Can be very interesting and you do learn a lot about yourself and things you might need to freshen up on!
Jamie
September 24th, 2009 - 9:44:12 PM
I got a little advice and it really helped. Plus lookin back before I got some advice from a few websites I know why I had a hard time just takes a reality check! http://jdunc12.mydealscenter.com
MilanG
September 25th, 2009 - 12:17:02 AM
I got 70% of mentioned reasons, and I married! Ha! explain that!
MilanG
September 25th, 2009 - 12:18:11 AM
Yo, my web site: www.phoenix-system.com Visit it!
anon
September 25th, 2009 - 2:06:07 AM
i'm a sociopath, fuck people
nina
September 25th, 2009 - 6:42:01 AM
You are just plain ugly
Cabby
September 25th, 2009 - 8:15:45 AM
Two things. A guys attitude should be DILLIGAF. Do I Look Like I Give A Fuck. And sometimes the girl is a bad lay.
Mr. D
September 25th, 2009 - 8:21:48 AM
This is why some cultures still have arranged marriages, no need to worry about this shit.
Mr. D
September 25th, 2009 - 8:57:32 AM
How about this one: You live with your parents.
swordfish1174
September 25th, 2009 - 9:00:29 AM
I think that now a days more people have not figured out the basics of life and how to treat each other. Meaning that most men dont appreciate women now a days they dont show them the proper respect. And women when a man wants to show the proper respect you all think there is a hidden agenda behind it or it isn't sincere.
10eon
September 25th, 2009 - 11:24:04 AM
this is the list of top 20 reasons my ex hates me! I only need 1 to describe her!
Tater Gumfries
September 25th, 2009 - 11:49:35 AM
Tater wrote him a guide for gettin you a pretty gal. You having trouble with gettin hooked up? Just follow Tater's easy instructions: http://www.kernsholler.net/KernsHollerContrarian/AdviceGals.html
website
September 25th, 2009 - 2:42:58 PM
Looks like that dude is married too. Hes got a wedding band on.
guest
September 25th, 2009 - 6:21:46 PM
Reason #21: You're Gay.
the man
September 25th, 2009 - 10:25:21 PM
Ok men check this out. I'm single I fit maybe one category being broke, i'm a single dad. I chose to be a single dad. But I have 2 women that are not "girlfriends" but just "Sex friends" Now can any of you tell me why I need a relationship? Someday maybe but I've had these arrangements for 4yrs and it's awesome!!
Bob
September 29th, 2009 - 4:39:39 PM
This is a good article. I was definitely a lot of these things when I was younger and didn't know what I was doing. I cover a lot of this stuff and how to fix it in my book Dating for Geeks http://www.datingforgeeks.org
J
October 4th, 2009 - 3:39:43 AM
i'm going to have to agree with this article.
Dave
October 9th, 2009 - 3:51:36 PM
maybe you're bi-sexual and you can't stand they thought of loosing your freedom?
Saferdates
October 11th, 2009 - 6:58:50 AM
Great article although I'm not so sure about the "Nice Guy" - I would be OK with that.
C
January 6th, 2010 - 3:37:21 AM
Apparently I'm the Nice Guy and the shy one too. This stupid article is right.. I still don't know why women like assholes though. Any ideas?
knubbyah
January 10th, 2010 - 9:37:33 AM
Makes sense. Didn't you just miss the reason:You have a choice so wide, you have difficulty picking and then you don't wanna miss out on any?