For years, Steven Speilberg has been waxing poetic on one of his projects, a biography of the tallest, baddest muthafucka to ever inhabit the White House. Which will be completely awkward when him and Robert Redford are eating the dreams of poor people together, because Redford has just started production on his biopic of Abraham Lincoln. Of course, Steven Speilberg has issued a press release. A Hollywood press release, as per usual, reeking of insincerity.
“We are very happy that Redford will be doing this Lincoln movie. It is completely different from what our DreamWorks Lincoln movie will be, and we believe that it will add to the commercial potential of our film. Lincoln as a subject is inexhaustible.”
You hear that, audience?! You’ll be more likely to see a movie on Abe Lincoln, because another movie on Abe Lincoln has just come out. INEXHAUSTIBLE. We might even see ten movies about Abraham Lincoln being made, and you motherfuckers will never get tired of them. Such as:
TALL, WEEPING, AND WILLOWY: A FUGUE
MARY-TODD’S PENIS
ABE LINCOLN AND THE CURSED SANDWICH ALLEY
THE ABIEST LINCOLN
THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE ABE LINCOLNS
ABE LINCOLN VS. THE SECRET ROBOTS
TYLER PERRY PRESENTS ABE LINCOLN PRESENTS IRONY
MUSTACHE RIDE: THE MUSICAL
THE UNION, MANG
THE GREAT-BEARD OFF OF AUGHT FIVE
Inexhaustible. Put on your history hats.
Comments
No comments.