Foiled by Facebook: Would-Be Burglar Jonathan Parker

By stephen on September 17th, 2009

Burglar-Laptop-Facebook

In the annals of dumb thieves doing dumb things, this dude may as well be king. Or close to. Here’s the story.

19-year-old Jonathan Parker appeared in court earlier this week for felony-level charges of robbery, after, allegedly, stealing two diamond rings from a neighbor in his home state of Pennsylvania. So far, not exactly an uncommon account: kid wants some money, likely can’t find a job, so he decides to steal. Unfortunate, but it happens. Now, according to reports, Parker was not caught mid-robbery and so far the diamond rings have not been found, yet the case seems to be closed already. Why you ask? What CSI-level work did the police pull out?

Well, apparently after successfully picking up both diamond rings, Jonathan Parker then decided to check his Facebook account, you know see what was going on. A new message from the girl he likes, perhaps? Anyway, time was of the essence, I guess, so he checked it at the house. It was midday, owners away at their jobs, why not? We’ll call this mistake number one. Now for mistake number two, Parker then leaves, but forgets to log out of his account! Oops.

Yeah, now we’re getting somewhere. But that’s not all. After police picked him up as the lead suspect (I wonder why?), they started asking around too. And Parker’s “friend” let them know that Parker had asked him the night before the robbery if he had wanted to help out. Yep. His “friend.” Mistake number three. Looks like Jonathan Parker is now, officially, out.

Bail is set at $10,000 and if convicted – a big if indeed – he’ll face up to 10 years prison time. But hey! Maybe there’s Facebook in prison now? Might not be so bad after all.

Comments

  1. Jeanie Turner

    April 12th, 2010 - 5:21:45 AM

    Here is an update on the cool thief, Jonathan Parker. He is not as free as he may think, as he has been telling everyone he meets. He is in serious trouble with the Grand Jury now that he thinks his court days are over. Surprise Jon, we'll be seeing you very soon and tho you think the Orange Jumpsuit that you have become accustomed to wearing is very fashionable, you will have another beautiful color to wear for many years to come. You see, your friends keep us informed of your running of the mouth, as it were,and your every move.

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  2. angela crawford

    September 20th, 2011 - 7:01:38 PM

    It's amazing to me how many people believe everything they read. This is not at all what really happened even the judge didn't believe this Facebook crap or he would have served alot of time. The girl had a party the night before and her rings got stolen then. It wasn't even Jonathan was took the rings. He was the last one using her computer before she kicked everyone out. So the people who believe everything they read, need to get a life.

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