I realize this article is going to make me the ultimate terrorist of fantasy, but I refuse to let any more of you make an ass out of yourselves at strip clubs.
Several articles have undertaken the task of explaining why guys feel drawn to the strip club experience: naked chicks, unknown naked chicks, unknown naked chicks who will show interest in you no matter who you are or what you look like, the ability to pick and choose from a variety of unknown naked chicks who will show interest in you no matter what you look like. And so on. That’s great.
But let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think taking off clothes for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make 500 dollars for an hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is a job. And as a patron of their services, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who was providing a service to you.
After a few nights running around the backrooms of some of Las Vegas’ most happening strip joints, here are a few tips I picked up from the girls:
Rule #1:
If you just want to drink and chill your friends, don’t go to a strip club. Not the same without the TNA running around? Do yourself and your buddies a favor and grab a Girls Gone Wild DVD when you’re out picking up the beer.
Rule #2:
Don’t ever ask a stripper why you should pay for a lap dance when you can get pussy for free at a club. It may be true, but if that’s the reason you’re passing on the lap dance, then shouldn’t you be at a club? If you’re just there for the browse, make it worth their while. It’s proper business etiquette.
Rule #3:
Don’t try to get a dancer to do anything for free. Come on, now. Most places charge between 20 and 40 dollars for a lap dance. Surely you didn’t just show up with enough money for booze… or did you? Should have stuck with YouPorn.
Rule #4:
Don’t sit at the stage and tip nothing to the women who are dancing. It doesn’t have to be as much as you would pay for a lap dance. Between 5 and 20 dollars should do fine.
Rule #5:
Don’t ask a dancer what her real name is or where she lives. Dude, come on, that’s creepy. She’s creating a fantasy and she’s well aware of the risks involved in doing that for a living. It can be dangerous. A lot of dancers don’t even share their personal information with each other, so get the idea that she would share that with you out of your head. She may, however, give you her number. A lot of dancers have separate phones for their clients. This is a way for them to engage clients and build their regulars. Getting her digits does not mean she wants to go out on a date. It means she thinks you are a client. Accept her as a fantasy. Fantasy is what she’s there to provide.
What can you do to make the best out of your strip club experience?
Tip #1:
Know that she is providing a service and expects payment. Hey, I know it’d be great to walk into a room full of naked women who just want to drape themselves all over you because you’re awesome, but not everyone lives in a rap video.
Tip #2:
Ask permission before you do anything. Every strip club has house rules and a dancer could get in trouble for stepping over the line. She may be better able to indulge you (at a fee, obviously) in the VIP room, which can run anywhere between 40 to 100 dollars for 15 minutes. Ask her. Haggling is low-brow, but if you explain how much money you have to spend and let her know that she’s worth that and more, chances are she will help you find a solution that works out for the both of you.
Tip #3:
Tip her. Yeah, OK, so you’re already paying for the dance or the VIP room. She still expects a tip. Dancers are usually not paid an hourly wage and on top of that, a lot of places charge “rent,” a fee for working there per night. It can be pretty steep. Tips go a long way. The standard ranges between 15 and 25 per cent, but any dancer will appreciate a modest tip over nothing.
Tip #4:
Respect her when she asks you for money. She’s working. Repeat after me: she’s working. Don’t ask her why she’s chosen this job. Don’t feel sorry for her. Enjoy her company and attentions. That’s what you’re there to do and what she’s there to facilitate. Let her. And pay her accordingly.
Tip #5:
Treat her with the same respect you are expected to treat other women in your life. Be a gentleman. Be human and realize that she is human, too.
Follow the rules and mind the tips and you’ll be well on your way to being the guy that strippers trip over to come sit with. As long as you remember that no matter how much they like you, that club is their workspace and pay and tip them appropriately, you’ll have a fantastic relationship.
OUTSTANDING ADVICE!!
This is one of the few articles about strippers that I practically agree with EVERY point!
Well written, non judgemental and just chock full of simple common sense.
Seems like common sense (be polite, pay in cash), but then you have to consider the dudes that gravitate toward Strip Clubs.
Thank you for writing this article! I just did a lot of nodding when I read this.
As a former dancer, I have to agree with every point you make – especially those about the fact that we’re working.
Very well done.
Cool article, yes all the tips here are top notch. I would add not to puke on yourself and then ask for a dance, but most people already know this
Very well written, especially Rule #5. Texting has made giving out your cell number roughly equivalent to giving out your email address. In fact, email and texts go to the same inbox on my blackberry.
Well written and similar content to my blogpost today.
This article should be read by every guy who walks in a strip club…our life would be really easy!
Thank you
thanks alot for putting this info out there.
even though (to me) it seems like common sense but some people just might not get it.
I appreciated it, I was nodding a lot when i read this article also. =)
What really gets to me is when guys come in to the strip club “just to have a fun time”or “just to have a beer” therefore they arnt expected to spend money!!??? Its a damn strip club!!!!! go somewhere else then.
How would u like it if i came into your job and decided that I didnt feel like paying you????
Asking for a tip? Lame! I make good money and have a great wife. Sometimes I want to go to a strip club hang and watch. If I pay $20 to get in HELL YEAH I reserve the right to not get a lap dance from a stripper (and its stripper not dancer, I have a friend who works her ass of in Ballet she is a dancer) and just hang out. Low brow? Nothing more low brow then a stripper. Lack luster sales pitch to get me to shell out cash. Cool, now you want more money? Get it together get a real job cause its not going to last. Come to think of it scratch that. Keep it up till you burn out, I love paying $20 and watching you feel insecure.
Who cares if they get pissed off not the owners nor the bartenders especially not me as long as I’m buying drinks and tipping the bartenders nobody could give a shit whether there pissed off or not should have gone to school lol what are they going to do quit ? there’s ten more wanna bee’s waitin to take there place every dumbass has a dream now here’s a dollar shake your ass and shut up
d, you’re the one who’s just admitted that these establishments are your locations of choice for “just hanging out”. Now THAT’S low brow.
There is no other way to piss off a stripper quicker then trying to get a free dance. You should know prior to walking in the door that nothing is free in a strip club.
d, great wife huh? they why the hell are you hanging out an establishment as such? esp since it is what you day it is? i bet your wife is a big fucking ugly ass bitch cow. and Jason can’t get shit. you fucking homo, yah tip the bartender a little more, maybe then he will bend you over and make you scream like the worthless bitch you are.
Treat all people with respect. With respect to this situation I found the experience especially of a private dance more sensual than actually sexual and believe me those girls are good at their job and the boundaries make the experience real. Respect to the ladies who put in those unsociable hours and have to put up with so many drunken slobs.
Yeah, that’s great that they are human and deserve respect. I can dig that. But I am paying for a service and I should get to act how I want to act and spend what I want to spend within reason. These women know damn well the work they are getting into and they should deal and accept all the bullshit that comes with the territory. If it’s that bad, get a respectable job where you are gainfully employed. This kind of work is on the same tier as drug dealing and prostitution. The only difference is that it’s legal. And that is a motherfucking fact for all you naysayers.
i’ve been to a strip club with a group of friends when i didn’t have any money, and sometimes that can’t really be avoided. however, i’ve always at least let them know if i didn’t have money, or wasn’t looking for a lap dance.
if i should be spending a minimum amount of money at a strip club, they should charge at the door and give you a coupon worth the cover charge towards something. that will keep me out if i’m not going to spend anything.
Ha. There is a certain amount of shit that you have to take at your job, so don’t get pissed when you get shitty clientèle. Don’t like it? Quit and get a real job or kick your drug habit and go to school, because those tits can only stay so perky for so long, and nobody wants a lap dance from a 30 year old.
That said, if I am paying a high cover charge just to get in, spending 150% or more on a watered down drink, as well as having to tip the bartender, I shouldn’t have to get a lap dance or tip the girls who are walking around the floor. If there is some kind of minimum, there should be a sign – like some bars have a drink minimum. Otherwise, get out of my face. Don’t come up to me after you get off stage; if I wanted to tip you, I would have done so while you were ass up on the floor.
If I get a dance, I’ll get one, but don’t walk up asking me for something when you didn’t do shit for me.
I’ve been to several strip clubs, and have always followed the above rules. I, for one, can see the common sense in them. To say that strippers are low-brow is just plain ignorance. I met one young woman who was paying her way through pharmaceutical school as a dancer. No lies here, she actually wound up working at the pharmacy where I pick up my insulin.
Tipping a dancer is just common decency. You tip a waitress don’t you? Wouldn’t the logic that d and mrbrownstone seem to be utilizing apply to a waitress? She’s bringing you a meal you’ve already agreed to pay for right? Yet, you still tip a waitress.
As far as a dancer being on the same tier as a drug dealer?! Do I really need to point out that strippers DON’T sell you a product that can, and most likely will, kill you? Do I also need to point out that strippers, to the best of my knowledge, do NOT peddle their wares to minors? Drug dealers and prostitutes have been known to do both.
I, for one, will continue to treat strippers with dignity. They deserve no less.
Some of you people are really pathetic and disgusting. And probably virgins.
Thank you for the tips they are really spot on. To the guys who come to watch just fucking stay home and watch porn will ya? We don’t respect you as much as you don’t respect us.
I agree with all of the above, except for Rule #4. Of course, when you enter a strip club, you’re supposed to be aware of the whole concept: an entry fee, an overpriced beverage, at least one dance in the VIP section, and tip for the last two. One that willingly enters a strip club simply can’t begin to whine about the price; it doesn’t make sense. That said, yes, the bartender does deserves to be tipped, same for the “VIP dancer”. But seriously, you can’t expect your client, who has probably already been charged about five times (for the basics) during the night, to empty his wallet even more because you’ve danced in front of him (and everyone else that’s looking) on the stage. When I go to a strip club, I don’t spend the night staring at the half naked strippers; I spend most of the time talking with my friends, looking at the stage when there’s a dancer I find particularly sexy. The dance, while indeed entertaining, should be included in the night’s already ridiculous overall price. I do have friends that give extra money for what I would call “personal stage dances” though, but they usually make it happen by waving a 5~10$ bill. Anyway, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a negative/aggressive comment (like some of the above); I’m only sharing my opinion in the form of constructive criticism. I think Rule #4 should be removed, even if it breaks the symmetry of this post. Thank you.
Really? We need lessons on how to treat erotic dancers? Strip clubs are for screwed up men and screwed up women. I’ve spent enough time in them to know. I practically fell for one stripper, and that’s pretty fucked up. The girls waste their souls cashing in exploiting the drunk losers who are themselves lost. It’s a sad pathetic scene, but I know I’ll be back.
How about rules for how to not piss off the guy shelling out $20 for a lap dance?
1) be sensual
2) let us kiss you tits, please
3) when the dance is over and you collect your cash, you don’t have to just turn off all the charm