You’d think that a world filled with superpowered beings would work overtime to create weapons that could be used against them. How can normal humans compete otherwise? Instead, super beings themselves are wielding some of the craziest weapons mankind has ever seen. I’ve collected five of the standout damage dealers and organized them by potency. You may disagree with these choices, but not with those who use them — less’n y’wanna get yerself deaded.
5. Wolverine’s Adamantium Claws
Well, duh. The first time I saw these things, I thought to myself “That’s not a superpower! How can this guy be hanging out with the X-Men?” Aside from the fact that there was a whole history to that relationship I knew nothing about at the time, are you gonna say no to a guy with six unbreakable knives sticking out of his fists? Adamantium continues to show up in various forms in the Marvel universe, but these babies are the all-time classic pig-stickers. Wolvie may be the best there is at what he does, and his claws are a lot of the reason why.
4. Captain America’s Shield
Now, hear me out before you start ranting. Yes, Cap’s Shield isn’t technically a weapon, but since he always uses it as one, it deserves inclusion on this list. Made of an adamantium/vibranium alloy, it’s one of the few objects existent that can actually block Wolverine’s claws. Additionally, it can absorb virtually any impact — I once read a comic where Cap jumped off the roof of a skyscraper and fell dozens of stories to the ground, where he landed on his shield, tucked beneath his feet, and walked away with no ill effects. You can’t tell me that’s not badass.
3. Green Lantern’s Power Ring
Grant Morrison once wrote an issue of his amazing Justice League series that had the new Sandman refer to Kyle Rayner’s power ring as a “wishing ring”, and that’s pretty much on the money. Try to discard all those images of silly constructs like giant green boxing gloves and green steam shovels and consider this: a Green Lantern’s ring can create anything its wearer can think of. So if you wanted to visit a planet populated by Victoria’s Secret models, your ring could do that for you. I’m just sayin’. Adamantium claws, pfft. Indestructible shield? Whatever. Green is the new black.
2. The Ultimate Nullifier
Okay, time to seriously geek out here. This thing was first seen in Fantastic Four issue 50, where Reed Richards used it to threaten Galactus away from devouring Earth, and it worked. So even if you’ve never heard of it before, you can imagine how powerful this thing must be. Essentially, it has the power to completely destroy anything that its wielder can perfectly envision. Unfortunately, in doing so, it also destroys the person using it. So it’s meant to be a last-ditch effort at victory, with the ultimate price being paid. Needless to say, it lords it over the previous three items on this list … but not over the final weapon.
1. The Cosmic Cube
The Cosmic Cube was created in a lab by Advanced Ideas Mechanics (AIM), those goons in the stupid cylindrical yellow helmets. You’d never guess that they’d have been capable of making the most powerful artifact the universe had ever seen. The Cube can recreate reality itself to conform to its user’s wishes. Would you like the planet shaped like a banana? Done. Every superhero to turn into a termite? No problem. Set yourself up as ruler of every living being, possessed of infinite might? Dude, please, it’s covered. The great thing about the Cosmic Cube is that usually only idiots have gotten their hands on it, and been stupid enough to let themselves be defeated in pretty silly ways. But that’s the nature of evil, isn’t it?
(Some of you might protest my exclusion of the Infinity Gauntlet in this list, but my argument there is that the Gauntlet itself is really only a collection of the Soul Gems, and each Gem on its own is less a weapon than it is a manifestation of some universal property. That’s my belief, and I’m sticking to it.) Don’t think I haven’t noticed that the majority of the weapons in this article are Marvel’s … have I missed any good ones? Leave ‘em in the comments, O True Believer!
Comments
acee cruz
August 26th, 2009 - 3:41:16 PM
that KFC double down "sandwich" should be the #6 weapon.
1