Glenn Beck is the big, fat, and racist kind of guy. After saying those three adjectives, one should have a good idea of not only the content of his character but also what he looks like. Big: he’s a big, big guy, with multiple chins and dead eyes. Fat. He is a doughy man, clearly made out of a mixture of eclairs and the tears of orphans. Racist. He recently said that “Obama is a racist who hates white people”, and admitted that he himself was kinda racist. GASP. I know!
So why should we even talk about him? Doesn’t everyone know that being a fat racist looks awful on ones resume? Well, it seems that Glenn recently came under fire for those aforementioned comments and lost thirty-fucking-three sponsors over the last week. THIRTY THREE! That’s insane! You’d have to get up REALLY early and be EXTRA racist to lose that many sponsors, Glenn.
And don’t get me started on the sad-boy crying, Glenn. Emo was dead as soon as “Transatlanticisms” went platinum and nobody ever looked back. Indeed, your mid-1980′s “crying pastor” routine – bursting into tears whenever something upsets you – is a tactic that everyone’s high school girlfriend pulled for attention. Just stop. It’s super embarrassing. Fame is a horrible drug and makes you act like an idiot but for gods sake, man. Pull yourself together. Remember when you were an extra on Cheers?
Yeah, dude. You finally got what you wanted: everyone knows your name but everyone thinks of you as a big fat racist. Sucks!