Comments on: How Did You Lose Your Man Card?

By: Rich

Rich — Mon, 24 May 2010 18:31:23 +0000

I currently live 600 miles away from my hometown, coincidentally in the same city where my best friend from my childhood moved to. He ended up getting killed in a car accident here when I was 13, and I’ve always wondered now what intersection was it, and what he would be doing nowadays, etc. I moved here for a job and didn’t know anyone else here except his family, and thought it would be nice if he was still around, we’d be hanging out etc. Anyway, shortly after I moved here I went back home for my cousins’s wedding. He has been one of my best friends and I was one of his groomsmen. Well, I got really drunk and don’t remember much, but I do remember at the end of the night talking with my mom about my lost childhood friend, and really balling. It felt like two hours, but I have no idea how long it really was. Eventually my wife took my passed-out ass home, and that is how I lost my man card, and why I don’t drink anymore.

By: D2

D2 — Thu, 06 May 2010 05:37:53 +0000

Today I actually got my man card revoked “until further notice” in front of several other males at work. I work at a sandwich joint, and on Wednesdays I am assigned to wash dishes. So this week I decided to bring in some washing gloves to help wash faster and protect against the abrasive scrubby-thing. Bad idea. I had rushed out of the house with them at the last minute, and when I put them on at work I noticed just then that they had a small floury trim. It wasn’t very noticeable, but then again my coworkers notice everything. I really opened a bucket of worms today, and I’m never wearing that pair again.
So, do you think this merits a revoked man card, or were my coworkers being unfair?

By: Bud

Bud — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 14:39:19 +0000

Yes, Jeff, you are correct sir! Their is an Authentic Man Card out there waiting for every Man in the world to claim. OfficialManCard.com issues the Worlds only Authentic Man Card. It is a credit card style Man Card and comes with Your name, Flag of your choice, Unique member number, Certificate of authenticity (to frame) and two revoke cards, just in case one of your buddy's screw up. If your buddy does screw up, you can visit our Man Card Revocation system (OfficialManCard.com/Revoked) and broadcast to the Man Card Community his offense, and have them vote whether he is worthy of revocation or not. Thanks for the link, Stay Manly My Friend!

By: The Muscle

The Muscle — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 18:58:08 +0000

@ Jerry.

Sir you see what your problem is? You don’t understand the true lore that comes with accepting the title of “the muscle” from your peers.

I assume your insecurities stem from your love of all the things on this list which clearly do not interest real men such as myself.

How dare you, I urge you to turn back around in your bar stool and continue nursing that zima before you get e-muzzled up chief.

By: Jerry

Jerry — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 23:38:01 +0000

‘The Muscle’ is probably the biggest pussy on here. I’m sure he’s just a nerd in a basement somewhere, who talks all tough. The rest of us men need to get back to work…and cuddling animals…

By: The Muscle

The Muscle — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 19:41:21 +0000

You cuddle with animals because they are so irresistibly cute and then have the fucking audacity to call me a PUSSY?

Listen up Chico, I don’t know what kind of limp wrist-ed jetta driving zima drinking homos write this shit but my man card is in fucking tact.

* Watching figure skating
Figure what the fuck? Are you shitting me? Whoever admits to this truthfully put in your address I’d like to poop on your lawn and punch you in the face.

* Taking baths
Apparently you’ve never killed fiddy men in a row via spinal cord separation. After that kind of exercise a nice hot (read:boiling) bath is just what your muscles need to relax. Muscles you know, those things you get by doing more than being a keyboard jockey all fucking day. And no you don’t have to be a roided out blown out haircut jersey guido to have muscles. Which by the way don’t fucking impress me chico, show me that you are functionally fit and then I’ll give you some props.

* Going to the mall “just for fun”
This doesn’t make you less of a man. It makes you 13 years old.

Seriously I was interested in this site for the split second it took me to read the site name “MANolith” but christ with articles like this…Is this the cosmo for men?

For the love of all things holy ladies lets those nuts drop! “But muscle I don’t know HOW to be more manly.” Buck up kid the muscle is generous today, let me give you a piece of easy advice. Grab your favorite wing man. Go to pub. Order beer (and god damn it if you ask for anything domestic other than killians or a micro brew I’m smacking you). Fuck a whore or two. Thank wingman for any potential end of days fallout he may have had to deal with. Rinse and repeat for a few days until you have the urge to hit a man much bigger than you. Go out and do so.