The Pentagon, and US in general, is known for wasteful spending, especially in the area of defense. So you’ll be happy to know that for the last three years, they’ve been developing cyborg insects. Six million dollar moths. They’re rigging up insects with electrodes so their normal calls will occur only when in the presence of certain chemicals. Although they’ve kept pretty mum about which chemicals those would be, a reasonable person can assume that it’s blood. So when insects smell our blood, they will no longer turn on us. Instead, they will signal other insects, the presence of which will alert rescuers, who will in turn pull off the giant donut you were tragically pinned under during an earthquake. Specifically, they’ve been implanting this technology onto grasshoppers.
This prompts the question, which insects would make the most interesting cyborgs?
1. Bees
You can already picture them with little cross-hairs coming from their antennae.
2. Pill Bugs
Because Suzie needs to learn, sometimes when you poke insects too much, they kill you with lasers.
3. Mantises
Not only are mantises already the coolest insect species used by organic farmers, picture them in little combat hats. Adorable. And deadly.
4. Spiders
Terrifying already. Imagine what cyborg spiders could do. Imagine cyborgs the size of dinner plates with venom coming at you. I have to stop typing. This will haunt me.
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