The world of video games is fraught with peril, terror, and a healthy dose of childlike imagination. Also, not every system looked that way upon its initial conception. Here’s a list of our favorite “what coulda been” moments!
5. The Big Ol’ Metal X
The Xbox is the redheaded stepchild of the video game sphere, although it consistently gets better grades and hotter prom dates than its counterparts. It’s the little system that could, and did, because it has a multi-billion dollar corporation backing it (Microsoft). With such insanely awesome graphics and not to mention affordability, the Xbox family is predominately the best choice for gamers on any sort of budget. But its previous incarnation as a gigantic metal X was ever-so-much-more-badass than the metal tower that the Xbox 360 became: the Big Metal X reeked of manliness and was so masculine it should’ve come with a pack of Plan B and a stick of beef jerky. It was just that cool. Too cool for the mass market.
4. The Mysterious Black Wii
The Wii is a modern marvel. The Wii is an amazing machine. The Wii is also for people between the ages of 8 and 80, as long as you take out the ages 18 to 60, because the games are just so damn childish that you’ll feel like a pedophile no matter what you’re playing. It’s one thing to play a video game on the Wii with your friends over, but try playing Wii Sports by yourself and you’ll be perking up your ears at the very sound of an ice cream truck and dashing for your raincoat and argyle socks (its a joke about flashers, people). I digress. The Wii is still pretty badass but is still the worst system for games if you’re a guy or even a girl or even a red blooded person who can legally own a gun, which is why when you see the Black Wii you think to yourself “oh man, I bet theres some badass things going on here”. But theres totally not. You’ll still be pretending to run around an imaginary island in your underwear at 3pm like you did when you played Wii Fit on a regular White Wii. Ever had someone walk in on you doing the fake hula hoop? Yeah. Let’s not get one of those.
3. The Jaguar
The Jaguar wasn’t necessarily a prototype – it was actually mass released – but it really was somewhat ahead of its time with its 64 something-or-others-look-I-know-nothing-about-technical-shit-at-all. Yes, it had 64 of those things. Pretty cool. However, nobody bought any and it became a classic example of “If The Games Suck, The System Sucks”. Also: Atari made it, and it pretty much bankrupted them in the process.
2. The Virtual Boy
The name alone conjures up imagery of sexual deviancy, so it should be of no surprise that you were supposed to strap this “Boy” to your face, fiddle with its control stick for a while, and then it would give you a splitting headache fifteen minutes later. This sounds less like a video game console and more and more like a lonely weekend in Thailand.
1. The Mysterious Wii Prototype.
Before the Wii came out there was much speculation arisen from this picture. Just look at it. How does it work? Ooooooooh so mysterious.