TEH SEX: Man Guide to Oral Pleasure

By AV Flox on July 8th, 2009

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I’m prone to using strong language when describing sex. I’ve been asked, however, to mind the advertisers and play nice. So here’s oral sex, euphemized and sanitized, just the way we like it. Not.

Get into the zone

OK, so every woman is different. Some prefer to be seduced into oral sex, others think it hotter for you to throw her legs open and dive right in. In the ideal world, you’ve spent enough time fooling around to know the level of sexual aggression that she finds sexy, but let’s be honest, this isn’t the ideal world. Chances are you might find yourself in a hot and heavy situation that calls for oral sex before you really know what she likes.

My rule is to err on the side of too much. Start with kissing and work your way down—down the jawline, down her neck (where you might spend some time, as this is an erogenous zone for many women), down her chest (where you’ll take a moment to adore her breasts, lick, pinch, bite her nipples, applying varying degrees of pressure to get a feel for her threshold), down her belly, using your hands to caress her thighs until your face is hovering before her box of eternal noms.

Approach

It’s easier if you remove her panties than push them aside, though there is a lot to be said for the sort of eating out that begins with teasing over the fabric, with your tongue, lips and breath.

Once you have removed her panties, spread her legs and begin to explore with your tongue and lips. Like women, vaginas differ, so it’s important to pay some attention to the lay of the land before you dive in.

In general, this is what you’re dealing with: the pussy’s exterior that you’re facing is the vulva. Part the large lips (labia majora) and you’ll find a smaller, thinner set (the labia minora). Sitting on top of these in a hood of skin is the clitoris, which we’ll call the knot of yes. The knot of yes is important. Its size may vary from the small to the larger, and when aroused, the knot can swell and become erect, like a little penis. Sort of. Anyway, the hole directly below the knot of yes is the urethra, and below that is the much larger vaginal opening, or slit of yum. Further down is the perineum, the area between the slit of yum and the anus, or backdoor of maybe.

Get to know her

Start on the labia, teasing with your tongue, lips and breath. Listen and watch for her response. The best way not to suck at eating box is not assuming that you know everything about how to please a woman. It’s kind of like being pulled over by a cop. You may have gotten out of a speeding ticket before, but just because you’ve done it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a master ticket escapologist, dig?

So start at the lips. Work your way around and in and gauge her reactions. Repeat what she appears to enjoy, but don’t overdo it! It’s easy for a girl to become desensitized to repeated stimulation on a particular area—particularly the knot of yes—so take note of what she’s into and alternate. A lot of people suggest spelling out the alphabet over the knot. That’s neither here nor there for me—I prefer the stimulation of the outer and inner lips as well as the knot, alternatively, with varying degrees of pressure. But that’s me, and as I said, it differs.

Use your hands

Eating a girl out is more than mouth on pussy. While knot stimulation is an effective way to get a woman to orgasm, slit stimulation goes a long way. This does not mean sticking your tongue in and out of my opening aggressively—it means using your hands.

During the anatomy refresher, I left out the G spot (G for Gräfenberg, the doctor credited with discovering this zone). The G can generally be found on the front wall of the vagina, between one or three inches from the slit of yum. How to hit it? If she is not sufficiently lubricated, suck on one or two fingers until they’re nice and wet (or ask her to do it) and slide them into her slit, palm up so it’s easy to apply pressure to the wall by making a “come here” motion with them.

G stimulation, while amazing for some women, can be uncomfortable for others (it can make us feel like we need to use the restroom). So, again, watch her reaction. If she doesn’t seem into it, try an in-and-out motion varying the speed of penetration, always paying attention to how much she seems to enjoy the activity. Don’t stop what you’re doing with your mouth during this time! Continue to focus your mouth on the knot and lips, remembering to use your own saliva to keep her wet, if you notice she needs it.

Be creative

You can use a flavored lubricant while going down. But you can also get creative and try food stuff like chocolate syrup, whipped cream, cooking coconut oil, and breath mints. And don’t forget non-food items like feathers, ice, and vibrators. There is no limit to what you can use, really.

If you notice that your girl is into rough play, alternate a slap with a caress on her ass or inner thigh and see how she likes it. If she’s talking dirty to you, let yourself talk back a little to give your mouth a break.

Other parts

Speaking of creativity, don’t neglect other areas of her body. The breast and nipples are really sensitive and worthy several returns during your time between her legs. Run your fingers up her torso and hold her breasts, lightly pinch her nipples, and caress the area around them.

Also bear in mind the amount of nerves in the zone in and around the backdoor of maybe. Stimulating this area with the tongue or a finger can be an incredible turn-on for many women, and worthwhile considering, if your boundaries allow for that sort of thing.

Take the time

The most important thing is to remember that eating box takes time—especially when you’re not sure what the girl you’re with is into. Don’t rush it. Don’t tell her over and over to cum for you, either. She’ll cum for you, you just have to know how to get her there. And you will.