In today’s modern world there are many things we take for granted, many things our fathers would have known how to do, and some others that might baffle them. Additionally, on average, Americans and European men are starting to get married older, meaning that there is now a need to be self-sufficient in things long-considered to be within the realm of the woman. Whether you’re out camping, or at home or work, there are some basic skills a man must possess. The following are fourteen examples of these skills – if you don’t know them, you should learn them, or you may be caught unaware sooner than you think. If you can think of others, please leave them in the comments below.
Drive a Stick-Shift
It’s a sad thought that more men, every day, are coming of age with absolutely no experience driving a stick-shift. To really add insult to injury, there are more men running around who don’t know how to drive a car period, but they’re beyond help if they’re that far gone. Driving stick is not a difficult thing to learn, and you don’t need to own a manual-transmission vehicle to acquire the skill. Have a friend teach you, hell, rent a car if you have to, it only takes a couple of hours to get the hang of it. At some point, just about everyone comes across a situation when they need to drive someone else’s car, and there’s a pretty decent chance that car will be a stick. You’ll want at least a vague familiarity with it.
Hook Up an Entertainment Center
There is absolutely NO excuse for this one. It’s now 2009, TVs with wires coming out the back of them haven’t been new or fangled for twenty years. The wires are color-coded, and even labeled with handy names like “input” and “output”. Here’s a hint, if something outputs, there’s an input somewhere waiting for it. With HDTVs on the rise now, it’s even easier with HDMI plugs, since there’s only one cable. Your grandfather may get away with having the Geek Squad come out to the house to install his new TV, but you need to man up and handle your own business.
Fix a Toilet
Everyone has a toilet, most houses even have more than one. They’re not new and they’re not that scary inside, either, yet somehow this all goes out the window the moment that flush handle stops making noises. Odds are, if you take the lid off the back of the toilet and peek in there, you’re going to immediately see what’s wrong. It’s not a complicated assembly, and if you really can’t figure out how the flapper works, the guy at Home Depot will be happy to take one and half minutes to explain it to you.
Navigate a Map and Use GPS
There should never be any instance when a man is handed a map and says, “I don’t know what I’m looking at here.” It may sound silly to some, but it happens every day. The culprit is usually the same guy who can’t drive. Roadmaps aren’t exactly of the difficulty level the Goonies had to deal with; they have clearly marked labels and landmarks, just like the road you’re on. The same goes for ditching the map and using a GPS device, which are built to be easy enough to operate one-handed and without looking. That’s their purpose, so you shouldn’t have a problem learning how to use one.
Change the Oil
Granted, in a decade or so cars that even have oil to change will be much less common, but right now they’re the run of the mill and have been since your grandparents were toddlers. Every man should be able to, if needed, change the oil in his car, as well as swap the spark plugs and the air filter. These three things make up the bare minimum maintenance-skills trifecta for car-owners. The only exception to this rule would be if you grew up filthy rich, and only drove cars that required special garage tools and special knowledge and calibration. That’s probably not you.
Balance a Checkbook
A man needs to be able to manage his money. That’s just a simple fact of life, a part of growing up and a major factor in whether or not he spends his life alone and miserable. Now, while it’s true that money isn’t everything, it definitely matters quite a bit. A woman isn’t necessarily shallow if she doesn’t want to spend her life with a guy who can’t keep his bank account from over-drafting, she’s just got good sense.
Cook the Perfect Steak
A timeless symbol of manhood, cooking the perfect steak is a long sought-after goal for any man who’s ever touched a grill. It’s just one of those things we all have to strive for in life. On top of that, it’s a great way to garner respect around the neighborhood, and it’s sure to get you a reputation as a good cook regardless of any actual cooking skills. The last thing you want is for your own wife or girlfriend to ask that you let your friend man the grill on the 4th of July. It should always be you.
Swim the Breaststroke
The need to be able to swim is one of basic survival. If you fall into a body of water, you need to be able to get back out, otherwise you’re a danger to yourself and others. You don’t need to be an Olympic-style swimmer, but you should at the very least be able to pull off a breaststroke if your life depended on it, and it might, you really never know. If the whole impending doom thing doesn’t sway you, then the fact that you look lame dog-paddling across the lake might.
Write Effectively
Unless you plan on spending your entire life working construction, and not as the foreman, you’re going to have to write more than one paragraph at some point. When that time comes, you need to be able to string something together that’s both coherent, and correct. That means spelling, grammar and proper punctuation, all things taught throughout high school. If, like most young men, you weren’t paying any attention during high school and now can’t write a paper to save your life, there are plenty of resources available on the Internet; take some time and rectify your mistakes before it’s too late.
Dress for the Occasion
Jeans and a t-shirt are great, every guy needs to be comfortable, and nobody would fault a guy for wearing his favorite jeans to the store. That’s a far cry from going to a job interview, a wedding or to a yacht party dressed like this. A man needs to have a presence and that means not looking like a drowned rat in unwashed clothes. You need to be able to dress yourself, and women will attest to this. It may be a little more expensive than the thrift store, but the payoff is ten-fold. If you lack fashion sense, and many men do, take a woman with you. There is no better shopping partner than a fashion-conscious woman.
Sew a Button
Yes, you can run around asking every woman in sight if she can help you fix your broken button, but you’re going to look like a jerk. It’s pretty easy to fix a rogue button if you can get a hold of a needle and thread. All you need to do is thread the needle, and then start looping it through the button holes and fabric. It doesn’t have to be pretty, it just has to keep the button on your clothes until you can replace them or find someone to do a professional job (like your mother). The last thing you want to do is to just walk around missing a button, that just looks ridiculous.
Do Laundry Properly
Many men get away without the most rudimentary of laundry skills, but they’re the guys who only own one pair of Levis and three black t-shirts. Socks and underwear are always optional to these gentlemen and they live the perennial single life. A man needs to be able to take care of his clothes, and that includes sorting them to allow for color-bleed as well as fabric types. The dryer can also be a deal breaker – even when washing correctly, and you don’t want to end up with a shirt that fits a 10-year-old. Learning this skill is actually a pretty involved, drawn-out process, but with enough trips to the laundromat, and enough stupid questions annoying the women that happen to be there, you can learn how to handle your clothes like a fashion expert – and maybe even get a date while you’re at it.
Handle Roadside Emergencies
If you’re going to be out on the road, then you need to be able to handle a flat tire or jump a battery. Not knowing these two simple things can be just as bad as walking into the desert with no water. It’s also important that you be able to stop to help others who are stranded on the side of the road when they don’t know how to change their flat tire.
Build a Fire
Much like swimming, this is a basic survival skill that mankind developed long ago. There is always the off-chance that you may need to spontaneously build a fire, and you should have at least some inkling of how to go about doing it if the need ever arises. You don’t need to become an expert fire-starter, but you should at the very least be aware of the various methods that exist. There is no shame in taking the easy way out; always having a lighter, or a book or box of matches on hand. Weatherproof matches in your glovebox are always a good idea, and flint-strikers are cheap and non-combustible alternatives as well. Man discovered fire, don’t be the guy who never learned how to use it.
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What! Sew on a button to be a MAN?! Should we also know how to make the perfect Chef Salad or bake the ultimate Flan. We are hard-wired to be a bit clumsy…..well, for obvious reasons. James Bond could empty out the bar, but I’ll bet never sewed on a button.
Wow – men really are idiots. Especially the ones disagreeing (probably because they CANNOT do any of those, or the add-ons). And as a woman – I do not find this article sexist, and I myself, indeed can do that whole list, except change the oil, as well as the add-ons, including fighting (just becuase I’m a girl doesn’t mean I didn’t throw punches w/ my little sister or cousins growing up) The oil thing was because my father never taught me because he said all the extra checks the shops do usually catch things I would neglect that could cause serious harm. And if a man out there in my life wanted to teach me, I would learn.
This article is a great start for men to realize their dependence on woman as well, and to be a man of 2009 – being able to drive a stick just in case is just as handy as being able to sew a button.
My motto – if you can – learn it. And if you dont’ want to – you are a lazy bum – get off your ass and make something more of yourself!
Adam, you’re clearly gay. I hate these obamaniac tree hugging liberals that think my F-150 super cab is somehow melting the ice caps ON MARS. Starting a fire, swimming, cooking, growing and hunting your own food? WTF is wrong with any of that? You know, for people who claim to just LOVE the environment so much, you sure are opposed to actually interacting with it. Isn’t that why you choose the big cities? Adam, I don’t consider your 5 minute walk down the concrete pavement that displaced millions of creatures to get to work as being environmentally sound. Fool.
Ryan, nice work man. Isn’t it great how these liberal, hippie fags go on talking about other people wronging the environment when they are all apart of the same problem. I just love listening to those people, contemplating when they will grow up, graduate 2nd grade, and get a real life. Why would I want to build a fire? Hm, maybe in case the electricity goes out and it is 15 degrees outside in NYC and I need heat, and a way to cook food for my vegetarian, homo-loving friends that don’t know how to build a fire. Get a life all of you losers who sit around on message boards like this all day and make stupid comments that further prove how ignorant 99.9% of liberal fags are in our country. Just because you can’t do any of the things on here, you want to go around telling people how wrong they are for being able to actually accomplish something with the life that God gave them. Go suck a big one.
Shave your balls.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TiJNewpCnY&feature=player_embedded
I am not nor have been a motorcycle rider but a good friend of mine is. Motorcycle riding, like bicycle riding, is one activity that teaches you to be aware of your surroundings. Growing in a crime ridden place does too. Next to motorcycle riders driving a small stick-shift car is the best thing that teaches awareness. A stick-shift driver just knows speed in relation to RPM and gear, which translate to stopping, acceleration, turning, etc. I think it was Mrk Twain that said “A hanging in the morning has a way of focusing the mind.” Kind-of like driving these days.
CJamesCote: Although I agree with your bike riding pet peeve I must also say that I have seen way too many bicycle riders who think they can break every rule of the road with impunity.
Why exactly would you need to take a woman shopping with you? Wouldn’t the better option be taking someone fashion-conscious? Because I’m a woman, but wouldn’t trust my fashion opinion.
I also don’t know many women who could sew on a button (seriously, do parents teach their children nothing these days?). Luckily, I can do it just fine, along with simple hemming.
And I’ll second (3rd, 4th?) the additions of
-caring for an infant/toddler
-pleasing a woman
-simple carpentry
Apparently many of these commenters think “complain and harp bitterly(as long as its anonymously electronic) about a time waster list that truly means nothing” belongs at the top of the list!
This is practically an advertisement for the Boy Scouts. I have four sons and we love scouting because it’s a great driver to get us all out and doing something constructive. And, yes, cooking meals and mending clothes are all taught as part of scouting–as well as swimming, first aid, safe fire management, wilderness survival (which is handy since we actually live in the wilderness), forestry, nature conservation, knife and firearm handling, archery, fishing, auto mechanics, engineering, science, orienteering, carpentry, etc…
The added bonus with the BSA is that scouts learn about ethical choices and responsible leadership.
The BSA motto is, “Be prepared.” While many of the skills on this list may not be required of us daily; some of them may not make sense in our lifestyles at all. But part of being prepared is acquiring skills you may need in an emergency situation.
What a stupid list. I mean, come on–Laundry!?! Cooking?! Even Ryan and Billybob’s mommas could do these things.
I think a lot of these things can be grouped under Making Things—taking raw materials (dirt, dead animals, veggies, needle+thread) and turning them into something useful.
In a way, cleaning, gutting, and cooking a fish you caught yourself isn’t really that different from building a hipster fixed-gear bike from scratch or hooking up an entertainment system. Or, rather, the difference lies in the materials and context, not in the skills necessary for success. They all require a willingness to take a series of small risks, learn as you go along, and get your hands dirty.
Hilarious! I’m a liberal hippie fag, I guess, but I happen to be female and know how to do all of these things and then some. What’s sad to me is that there are people on here who love the environment and yet imply that environmentalists are at odds with building fires or being outside. What planet are they from? The people I live around and love are people who spend their time kayaking, climbing, and biking, and fight to preserve the environment so “liberal hippie fags” who live in NYC city can put off the survival course for a few years. Yeah, those people may be out of touch, but if they were sprawled all over our countryside instead of packed into high rise buildings sharing their commute with thousands of other people, there would be a lot more of a fossil fuel issue.
Number one should be “Stop being oblivious.” Pay attention to your effect on the world around you on every level. If everyone were to do this, more people would find joy in driving a stick shift, following a map, changing oil, helping other people by doing for them what they cannot.
Yikes…I’ve just discovered I’m a man and nobody told me…lol Actually, there was one I don’t know if I can do…I can put an entertainment center together but can’t hook the electronics up, so I say the one ability cancels out the other. Besides, Brent added a few more to the list and I can do some them…
And yes, we girls appreciate a man that can do all 15 of the above…And if you open my door for me, I’m just going to tell you, your mama raised your right!
15. Perform reasonably well in a fist fight – Not sure…took kung fu but never actually had to use it on anyone but I have a mean jab – uppercut not so good.
16. Fire a gun – BB gun, rifle, handgun – got that covered
17. Grow tomatoes – I killed cactus so I don’t have this skill
18.Catch, clean, & cook a fish – I’ve caught and I’ve cooked but yuck – I don’t want to clean it! WOW – I am DEFINITELY a girl!!!
19. Skin a buck. – Nope…but I’ve named the ones on my guy friend’s walls…Does that count? Yes…he thought I was crazy too. Named the pheasant and longhorn too…
20. Care for an infant – That’s what those mechanical swings are for…
21. Train a dog – Someday when I get one
22. Throw a ball – Definitely! And I don’t throw like a girl either.
Now that I’ve looked at this, I’m pretty sure I’m a girl…cause look how much I wrote!
Yikes…I’ve just discovered I’m a man and nobody told me…lol Actually, there was one I don’t know if I can do…I can put an entertainment center together but can’t hook the electronics up, so I say the one ability cancels out the other. Besides, Brent added a few more to the list and I can do some them…
And yes, we girls appreciate a man that can do all 14 of the above…And if you open my door for me, I’m just going to tell you, your mama raised your right!
15. Perform reasonably well in a fist fight – Not sure…took kung fu but never actually had to use it on anyone but I have a mean jab – uppercut not so good.
16. Fire a gun – BB gun, rifle, handgun – got that covered
17. Grow tomatoes – I killed cactus so I don’t have this skill
18.Catch, clean, & cook a fish – I’ve caught and I’ve cooked but yuck – I don’t want to clean it! WOW – I am DEFINITELY a girl!!!
19. Skin a buck. – Nope…but I’ve named the ones on my guy friend’s walls…Does that count? Yes…he thought I was crazy too. Named the pheasant and longhorn too…
20. Care for an infant – That’s what those mechanical swings are for…
21. Train a dog – Someday when I get one
22. Throw a ball – Definitely! And I don’t throw like a girl either.
Now that I’ve looked at this, I’m pretty sure I’m a girl…cause look how much I wrote!
I recently discovered my husband doesn’t know how to use a screwdriver. a FREAKIN’ screwdriver. I almost divorced him on the spot. Also men should know how to use a hammer, anchor bolts, a drill, socket wrenches and allen wrenches. The basics of putting together an IKEA or Target bookshelf.
A great starter list – it looks like it really got the discussion going. I thought I’d contribute to the conversation by adding instructions for each skill:
http://taoofbachelorhood.com/2009/07/10/how-to-perform-14-basic-skills-part-1/
And LOL at the “shave your balls.” Gillette is really working hard to make us all look like either competition swimmers or gay porn stars, I can’t decide which.
The canada blow was low. I do have a good job, and am
rather happy to be living here compared to recession
ravaged america.
#1 – Learning right now.
#2 – Irreverent. Computer + plus good speakers + broadband = Portable entertainment.
#3 – Support the local economy. Watch the plumber the 1st time, so it can be done by yourself the rest of the time.
#4 – GPS & Maps are only as good as the roads are. If there are out-to-date GPS and/or Maps, then using a compass works.
#5 – Irreverent. I do not own a car. Changing oil in some others’ car was not discussed.
#6 – Irrevelent. Online banking and ATM balancing w/ Quicken and/or something similar.
#7 – Irrevelent. I am a flexiterian and non-red meat eater. I do not use a grill.
#8 – Irrevelent. I know survival training from my Military days and know how to use my pants as a floatation device.
#9 – I write for the school newspaper. The editor of paper told I me write better than some of the staff. I am an Engineer Major.
#10 – I dress for praticality because I ride a bike. Make sure the fabrics you wear can be worn in church and in a construction site.
#11 – Learned how to crosstitch in Boy Scouts. I have yet to use this skill as the buttons I have have yet to fall off.
#12 – Relevent. I do it weekly, 2x loads.
#13 – I do not own a car. I do, however, own a bike. In which case, I carry a bike pump, tire patches, and a cell phone.
#14 – Irrevelent. I do not have the space to build one and it pollutes the air. Use non-toxic portable Sterno cans.
Thank you.
Where are two BIG ones?
Tie a Tie
Polish your shoes
What a stupid article. Who is this writer to determine what skills are necessary for men to have?! It’s such a generalization of what is “expected” of men. The two most stupidest are the changing of the oil and cooking the perfect steak requirement. Sorry, but anyone living in a population of more than 100 people can take their car in to Jiffy Lube for 20 bucks. Articles such as this one are meant to manipulate/control men into feeling bad about themselves for not being (or possessing skills) what someone else thinks you should be. Anyone can come up with their own opinion of what a “man” is, then post it in an article, and have gullible men believe it as a universal truth.
Nice post – however – everyone should know how to do these things
Most men will buy diamonds at some point in their life…and it won’t hurt to do it like a man. Know your stuff so you can do it with confidence. Every one involved will feel better…and it will something you can pass on to your buddies. You’ll be the “go to” diamond guy.
Real men drive automatics because real men are secure enough in their manhood to let their gears be changed for them.
quite commendable.however,writing well should not be for men alone.
Learn to drive a stickshift? In the US? Get a friend to let you drive their car? In America most Driver’s Education instructors do not know how to drive a manual transmission. 99.93% of people that do have a manual transmission car would rather lose a friend then let a friend drive their car. Less than 6% of cars sold in the US have a manual transmission now, and they are only available on sports cars are bottom end models. Here is a comprehensive list of car rental agencies in the US that rent manual shift cars: {}.
Mu girlfriend and I just read this. Was this written for 18 yo’s? Take care of your woman in bed, and in life. Earn a decent living. Yes, I can do all of the list.
I like the stick shift one. i WOULD add wilderness survival!! basic trapping, even plant knowledge, and of course shelter and how to make ropes. Tying knots!! Also, GUNS!! if nothing else guns make u a man. A big offroad vehicle. If society ever comes burning down you’ll see what i mean.
I like this post, enjoyed this one thanks for posting .
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