14 Basic Skills All Men Should Possess
In today’s modern world there are many things we take for granted, many things our fathers would have known how to do, and some others that might baffle them. Additionally, on average, Americans and European men are starting to get married older, meaning that there is now a need to be self-sufficient in things long-considered to be within the realm of the woman. Whether you’re out camping, or at home or work, there are some basic skills a man must possess. The following are fourteen examples of these skills – if you don’t know them, you should learn them, or you may be caught unaware sooner than you think. If you can think of others, please leave them in the comments below.
Drive a Stick-Shift
It’s a sad thought that more men, every day, are coming of age with absolutely no experience driving a stick-shift. To really add insult to injury, there are more men running around who don’t know how to drive a car period, but they’re beyond help if they’re that far gone. Driving stick is not a difficult thing to learn, and you don’t need to own a manual-transmission vehicle to acquire the skill. Have a friend teach you, hell, rent a car if you have to, it only takes a couple of hours to get the hang of it. At some point, just about everyone comes across a situation when they need to drive someone else’s car, and there’s a pretty decent chance that car will be a stick. You’ll want at least a vague familiarity with it.
Hook Up an Entertainment Center
There is absolutely NO excuse for this one. It’s now 2009, TVs with wires coming out the back of them haven’t been new or fangled for twenty years. The wires are color-coded, and even labeled with handy names like “input” and “output”. Here’s a hint, if something outputs, there’s an input somewhere waiting for it. With HDTVs on the rise now, it’s even easier with HDMI plugs, since there’s only one cable. Your grandfather may get away with having the Geek Squad come out to the house to install his new TV, but you need to man up and handle your own business.
Fix a Toilet
Everyone has a toilet, most houses even have more than one. They’re not new and they’re not that scary inside, either, yet somehow this all goes out the window the moment that flush handle stops making noises. Odds are, if you take the lid off the back of the toilet and peek in there, you’re going to immediately see what’s wrong. It’s not a complicated assembly, and if you really can’t figure out how the flapper works, the guy at Home Depot will be happy to take one and half minutes to explain it to you.
Navigate a Map and Use GPS
There should never be any instance when a man is handed a map and says, “I don’t know what I’m looking at here.” It may sound silly to some, but it happens every day. The culprit is usually the same guy who can’t drive. Roadmaps aren’t exactly of the difficulty level the Goonies had to deal with; they have clearly marked labels and landmarks, just like the road you’re on. The same goes for ditching the map and using a GPS device, which are built to be easy enough to operate one-handed and without looking. That’s their purpose, so you shouldn’t have a problem learning how to use one.
Change the Oil
Granted, in a decade or so cars that even have oil to change will be much less common, but right now they’re the run of the mill and have been since your grandparents were toddlers. Every man should be able to, if needed, change the oil in his car, as well as swap the spark plugs and the air filter. These three things make up the bare minimum maintenance-skills trifecta for car-owners. The only exception to this rule would be if you grew up filthy rich, and only drove cars that required special garage tools and special knowledge and calibration. That’s probably not you.
Balance a Checkbook
A man needs to be able to manage his money. That’s just a simple fact of life, a part of growing up and a major factor in whether or not he spends his life alone and miserable. Now, while it’s true that money isn’t everything, it definitely matters quite a bit. A woman isn’t necessarily shallow if she doesn’t want to spend her life with a guy who can’t keep his bank account from over-drafting, she’s just got good sense.
Cook the Perfect Steak
A timeless symbol of manhood, cooking the perfect steak is a long sought-after goal for any man who’s ever touched a grill. It’s just one of those things we all have to strive for in life. On top of that, it’s a great way to garner respect around the neighborhood, and it’s sure to get you a reputation as a good cook regardless of any actual cooking skills. The last thing you want is for your own wife or girlfriend to ask that you let your friend man the grill on the 4th of July. It should always be you.
Swim the Breaststroke
The need to be able to swim is one of basic survival. If you fall into a body of water, you need to be able to get back out, otherwise you’re a danger to yourself and others. You don’t need to be an Olympic-style swimmer, but you should at the very least be able to pull off a breaststroke if your life depended on it, and it might, you really never know. If the whole impending doom thing doesn’t sway you, then the fact that you look lame dog-paddling across the lake might.
Write Effectively
Unless you plan on spending your entire life working construction, and not as the foreman, you’re going to have to write more than one paragraph at some point. When that time comes, you need to be able to string something together that’s both coherent, and correct. That means spelling, grammar and proper punctuation, all things taught throughout high school. If, like most young men, you weren’t paying any attention during high school and now can’t write a paper to save your life, there are plenty of resources available on the Internet; take some time and rectify your mistakes before it’s too late.
Dress for the Occasion
Jeans and a t-shirt are great, every guy needs to be comfortable, and nobody would fault a guy for wearing his favorite jeans to the store. That’s a far cry from going to a job interview, a wedding or to a yacht party dressed like this. A man needs to have a presence and that means not looking like a drowned rat in unwashed clothes. You need to be able to dress yourself, and women will attest to this. It may be a little more expensive than the thrift store, but the payoff is ten-fold. If you lack fashion sense, and many men do, take a woman with you. There is no better shopping partner than a fashion-conscious woman.
Sew a Button
Yes, you can run around asking every woman in sight if she can help you fix your broken button, but you’re going to look like a jerk. It’s pretty easy to fix a rogue button if you can get a hold of a needle and thread. All you need to do is thread the needle, and then start looping it through the button holes and fabric. It doesn’t have to be pretty, it just has to keep the button on your clothes until you can replace them or find someone to do a professional job (like your mother). The last thing you want to do is to just walk around missing a button, that just looks ridiculous.
Do Laundry Properly
Many men get away without the most rudimentary of laundry skills, but they’re the guys who only own one pair of Levis and three black t-shirts. Socks and underwear are always optional to these gentlemen and they live the perennial single life. A man needs to be able to take care of his clothes, and that includes sorting them to allow for color-bleed as well as fabric types. The dryer can also be a deal breaker – even when washing correctly, and you don’t want to end up with a shirt that fits a 10-year-old. Learning this skill is actually a pretty involved, drawn-out process, but with enough trips to the laundromat, and enough stupid questions annoying the women that happen to be there, you can learn how to handle your clothes like a fashion expert – and maybe even get a date while you’re at it.
Handle Roadside Emergencies
If you’re going to be out on the road, then you need to be able to handle a flat tire or jump a battery. Not knowing these two simple things can be just as bad as walking into the desert with no water. It’s also important that you be able to stop to help others who are stranded on the side of the road when they don’t know how to change their flat tire.
Build a Fire
Much like swimming, this is a basic survival skill that mankind developed long ago. There is always the off-chance that you may need to spontaneously build a fire, and you should have at least some inkling of how to go about doing it if the need ever arises. You don’t need to become an expert fire-starter, but you should at the very least be aware of the various methods that exist. There is no shame in taking the easy way out; always having a lighter, or a book or box of matches on hand. Weatherproof matches in your glovebox are always a good idea, and flint-strikers are cheap and non-combustible alternatives as well. Man discovered fire, don’t be the guy who never learned how to use it.
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i find the front crawl (freestyle) stroke better than the breaststroke, it’s faster and more efficient
Considering oil changes, I’d rather have someone else do it and check the rest of my car out, like spark plugs and the belts. Considering my car, I want it to get from point A to point B, and if something goes wrong, past the point of fixing a tire or jumping the battery, I’ve got AAA.
Everything like reading a map and balancing checkbooks, it’s all becoming automated. Considering your bank account, you can pay bills and check the status of your account. And if my GPS is busted, I go for the map, and if that doesn’t work, I stop and ask someone.
Again, everything is becoming automated, so old tricks and tips help, but it doesn’t matter either way.
I bet in 10 years, concerning cooking a steak, all you’ll have to do is push a button and the steak will be ready to eat in 5 minutes, cooked to perfection. George Foreman grills??
I’ve never owned a chequebook (checkbook) in my life. Other than that I aced the list. In addition to this list, I also have great numchuck skills, computer hacking skills and bow-hunting skills.
“Considering your bank account, you can pay bills and check the status of your account.”
Woops, I meant to say you can pay your bills online and see if you are about to go over your limit.
Loading/using a firearm, just in case of home invasions and protection, ect.
Nice list but there are some very important omissions:
15. Perform reasonably well in a fist fight.
16. Fire a gun.
17. Grow tomatoes.
18.Catch, clean, & cook a fish.
19. Skin a buck.
20. Care for an infant.
21. Train a dog.
22. Throw a ball.
You missed handle a firearm.
I scored 12/14 according to my wife. She thinks I cannot do my laundry (what she expects? She even has been buying my underwear for years) and calling her when my car breaks down does not count as handling #13.
I will use this list to test prospective suitors for my daughter. Her brothers agree.
:)
Jackie…
Maybe you are a women, and no disrespect if you are, but why on EARTH would you ever want to “push a button” and have a steak come out done? I mean, come on, maybe after a long day and you just want a steak, but every man needs to know how to work a grill and make a good steak. That goes for burgers, hot dogs, sausages, chicken, really any meat. Men should know how to grill meat.
I honestly lose some respect for a guy if he can’t work a grill and make a decent burger (let alone steak).
Brent Bitner:
#22 should be expanded…a man should be able to decently throw and catch a baseball, throw an acceptable spiral pass (these two, enough to play catch with), and make a 15 foot jump shot.
@Jackie…
Wasn’t one of the items something about writing effectively?
Knowing how to balance a checkbook is a nice little quiz to show that you have some basic level of understanding of accounting and money.
I like the addition of knowing how to fight reasonable well, throwing [a ball] accurately, growing vegetables, dressing game and cleaning fish.
I’d like to also now add the ability to maintain awareness of the surroundings.
Sharpen a knife.
Cook dinner for a date
Tie down a load on a car/in a pickup bed using appropriate knots (bowline, clove hitch, tautline hitch, 2 half hitches)
Throw a punch–and take one.
Paddle a canoe, row a boat, or paddle a kayak.
sorry! reasonable –> reasonably
BD: good ones.
I absolutely agree 100%. Every man should be able to perform every task on that list without effort.
RT
http://www.be-anonymous.tk
Every man should possess the ability to drink either one bourbon, scotch or tequila, and know how to hold it if they drink more than one.
I disagree with the stick shift and the breaststroke. The stick shift has been irrelevant for 20 years and will completely disappear within the next ten years as gasoline powered vehicles are replaced with hybrids and alternative fuel sources. As a lifelong swimmer, former lifeguard and Olympic qualifier, I can say that the breaststroke, aside from the butterfly is the most inefficient stroke. You’d be better off knowing the backstroke if it becomes a matter of survival, and frankly, the sidestroke would be the best for life saving situations. Everything else though, I suppose is useful.
This is a bunch of crap. What ridiculous/sexist/bigot wrote this article? Get a life. It’s 2009 hunny. Men don’t need to know this crap anymore. Call the hot plumber and support the damn economy! Take your car to the sexy mechanic so you can watch him fix your flat tire for you.
All but two. Swim the Breaststroke and Dress for the Occasion.
- I can swim but not the Breaststroke.
- Dressing for the occasion is a weird idea. What exactly does that mean. Is it a way to let other people tell you what to wear?
I only drive a stick shift and refuse to touch an automatic except in an emergency.
I feel that driving a stick shift, while not necessary, is just a bit more of a manly thing to know how to do. Why else do 99.9% of all car chase scenes in a movie show the bad ass hero using a stick shift? Because only a wuss runs from the badguys with an automatic transmission.
Good ones. Also know how to treat a lady I would add, by being a gentleman.
15. Get a clue
Aside from the fixation with mastering obsolete technology — should we learn to use slide rules, too? — what the hell do these have to have with having an XY chromosome pair or a set of balls?
I agree with the ones that involve not dying. The rest are lovely things to have but can take a back seat to “not being a douchebag” and “having beliefs that make a shred of damn sense,” two skills in which most humans are far more urgently lacking.
This article is setting the bar pretty low. I expect most teenagers to be able to cover everything on the list and a lot more besides, according to their interests and life experience.
Robert Heinlein, crazy old man though he undoubtedly was, had a few choice words on this subject:
“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.”
@Kage
As someone who has only bought manual transmission cars, and has no plans to stop, I can assure you as long as cars with internal combustion engines are made, stick shifts will not go extinct. They are infinitely more fun to drive, and much cheaper to maintain than an automatic.
Regardless of what you think of the items on the list, it seems to be compiled to favor a Renaissance man type personality.
hmm, i guess its time for me to go learn swimming. i can only float for now.
I think all men should know how to ride a motorcycle to some extent.
As a teenager who can perform every task on this list, I laugh at the “men” who can not do these things. These tasks are things my father AND MOTHER have ingrained into my skull as just basic maintenance, and should be able to be done by anyone regardless of sex.
I have all 14 down without a problem, but the one about a stick shift tickled me. My wife is from Germany and I had to teach her how to drive a car with an automatic transmission…. no kidding. She never owned a car with an automatic transmission.
What about Coding skills????
I can’t do anything in the list, however i can code like a champ and that is enough to me =)
Jerry…. you are whats known as a loser.
Perform cunnilingus! :-)
if you can’t balance a checkbook or write coherently odds are good your code is ****
no worries, you’re (over)qualified to work for microsoft, wall street, or in public service. :-/
Silly list
A real man needs to know whee is towel is. All else is the icing on the cake.
But apart from that, what an old macho-looking list. Who are these men obsessed with clothes and cars? Its like Hugh Hefner for today.
Add cook, look after small children, grow things in a garden. But everybody needs to do that, not just men.
Add being able to speak in public at no notice, off the cuff, and make sense. And not dry up.
Cut the cars (or if you want to keep them in put in other old macho stuff about being able to identify poisonous mushrooms and find edible plants and medicinal herbs in the wild…) but if you live where I do you really need to be able to navigate the London bus system :) Not the tube system, any child can do that, they have easy maps and only about 20 routes. The bus system with about 400 routes and lots of exceptions.
Actually that’s another universal skill. And with or without public transport everyone should know their way around the streets and roads and footpaths where they live and the countryside around and the nearest cities WITHOUT a map.
Add being able to talk to strangers and make them like you.
If you want macho, add being able to break up fights with no-one getting hurt.
You’re a fucking douche bag mate
Pretty Much attempt to be like Daniel Craig in James Bond and Barack Obama. That’s what I aim for, oh yea and GQ magazine.
I don’t agree with much of this list. Only a few things- for instance, everyone should be able to write well. Not just men.
But changing oil? This is what Jiffy Lube is for. Fashion is subjective, and silly to waste money on- of course you wear a shirt and tie to an interview, but there’s no difference whatsoever between a shirt from Sears and one costing 5x as much from a “specialty” store. Oh, and laundry? Washing in cold water prevents color bleed and saves you the hassle of sorting clothes when you don’t have to to get them clean.
There are better things that should be up there- like treat women with respect even AFTER they’ve left your presence (one of the primary reasons I can’t stand many guys) and learn to drop the macho BS. (The other worst trait of many men.)
Biggest one I disagree with is the stick shift. They are dangerous, and more accidents happen in stick cars than automatic. Also, those who’ve trained to drive two-footed are the safest drivers (really something that must be learned upon starting to drive)- you can prevent accidents that would otherwise be impossibile for a one footed driver or someone in a stick.
What is this Checkbook? I think my father had one a bit more than twenty years ago..
Don’t you guys (in US) have real-time debit cards?
15. Fight for principles.
16. Use common sense.
17. Think critically.
18. Keep ego in check.
19. Admit mistakes.
20. Give CPR.
Thank god for the stick, automatics really suck
Fucking stupid list get over your brainwashed idea of what you’ve been told a man should be.
I can do it
Lots of good additions to the list. I’d like to add that though this is a great basic list of basic skills, it should also be considered basic skills women should know.
That said, a couple of posters here are either young and remarkably naive, or are very ignorant.
@Jaym While I agree Jiffy Lube is certainly convenient, especially if you don’t have a garage, but to dismiss the need to be able to do simple maintenance on your vehicle shows a profound lack of initiative. And your comments about driving a stick shift show you to be generally ignorant of automobiles. In fact, if I’d read your comments about two-footed driving before getting into a car with you, I wouldn’t. Do you, in fact, actually possess a drivers license? Because if you do, it should be rescinded.
Roll a joint
@Jaym
You obviously know nothing of clothing, dressing, or cars. While I agree in full with your other statements.
Jiffy Lube is….well they server no purpose, I can change the oil in my stick shift BMW in 20 minutes and save ~$100 off a Jiffy Lube service.
As well as your stick shift comments, obviously you weren’t trained on one. I’m 19, living alone driving a nice stick shift car and been driving…3 years. Driving a stick is second nature, it requires no more attention, well than anything at all(glancing at your speedometer takes more attention from the road, do you not do that?), any decent driver knows the sound of their engine and can easily shift without looking and any further effort, as well as saving money on gas over an automatic it’s just more fun to drive when you need performance.
I wouldn’t get started on clothes, I just challenge you to go try on a pair of thrift store $10 jeans, and then a pair of $350 True Religion or $150 Lucky Brand jeans, I guarantee you’ll be comfortable and that’s why I settle for nothing less. Normally buying a new pair of jeans thanks to the money I saved changing my own oil.
1. just because the list says a guy should be able to do it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be general knowledge for everybody, they aren’t mutually exclusive, so all you PC douchebags knock it down a notch or 3.
2. @Jaym, you are honestly a moron. If you don’t understand the flaws in your own argument, you aren’t a capable human. Also, you are an obviously inept American, simply by the comments you made regarding driving. I challenge you to provide any sort of statistical proof of your claims re: accidents and stick shifts, or any literature on your methods for 2 footed driving.
3. I think that handling a firearm should be on here.
4. The idea of possessing a skill doesn’t mean that you have to use it every time. I certainly don’t change my oil myself every time, but I DO possess the ability to do it.
-bill
I like this quote: “Man discovered fire, don’t be the guy who never learned how to use it.”
Very funny. There are a few other basic things that men should know that could be added to this list, but I guess it wouldn’t be 14 basics then huh?
I would add “Throwing a punch, Tying a tie, making a woman have atleast one orgasm, changing a diaper” among other things.
Am I too domesticated?
follow me on http://www.twitter.com/thecrypticone
Lol, you americans crack me up… Steak…
Wearing suits, driving cars, eating barbeque, spending money, watching TV – it’s the same american dream of the 1950’s. The world has moves on. I suppose thats the US for you, thus your companies are failing (GM), your loosing your jobs, and you have the highest rate of obesity in the world. Thats where that dream gets you.
“15. Perform reasonably well in a fist fight.
17. Grow tomatoes.
”
15. wrong. there is always a man stronger and more skilled than you, it is much more valuable to know how to get out of a fist fight.
17. wtf, seriously, why tomatoes and not potatoes, or mushrooms? wtf.
sergio, at least write effectively. it’s lose not loose.
Hi.
I guess I am not a man.
Bye
“Biggest one I disagree with is the stick shift. They are dangerous, and more accidents happen in stick cars than automatic. Also, those who’ve trained to drive two-footed are the safest drivers (really something that must be learned upon starting to drive)- you can prevent accidents that would otherwise be impossibile for a one footed driver or someone in a stick.”
most retarded comment i’ve ever read. absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, do you?
“sergio, at least write effectively. it’s lose not loose.”
This coming from someone who uses childish acronyms, too many commas and has a lack of understanding as to where capital letters go.
I can do everything on the list. Agree with most of them.
Maybe the dress appropriately could be changed to know how to tie a tie.
Driving a Stick Shift is important!
@Jayn “They are dangerous, and more accidents happen in stick cars than automatic.” I will assume you are talking about America only. The usa primarily drives automatics, so your comment is just wrong. But one of the problems is that you can drive a stick shift anywhere even if you have never driven one before. In the UK if you pass your drivers test in an automatic you are not deemed competent enough to drive a manual (stick shift). But hey, most cars over here are stick shifts anyway, the same with most of Europe. Stick shifts gives you more control over the car and engine, hence why race cars use it. /rant
While on cars: GO JENSON BUTTON!!!
Iron clothes and the basics in courtesy.
I really hope Jackie is a female or you’re just a homo.
“This coming from someone who uses childish acronyms, too many commas and has a lack of understanding as to where capital letters go.”
childish acronyms? you think single letters in the alphabet are childish? see, i made a new name to please you. please tell me where the capital letters go. also, tell e.e. cummings while you’re at it. stylistic choices in punctuation and capitalization are much more accepted than blatant vocabulary misuse.
loose= not tight
lose= cease to have
lollol
Eat shit and die, Vito.
I’m actually ok with all of them except the oil change. Even if hubby did change the oil, we’d still have to pay someone to dispose of it safely (unlike my father’s method of burying it in the back yard). Since that’s the service companies use to lure you into the shop, it’s actually cheaper to take it in than do it at home — and hopefully we will replace oil with something better for the environment before that changes.
@clothdragon if you live in the US, you can dispose of the oil at any auto shop. Just put the old oil in the oil jugs you bought and drop them off in their special containers. You’ll save about $5-10 doing the oil change yourself and if you want performance oil (synthetic mobil one) you’ll save about $20-30.
@kage
if you dont know how to drive stick shift, you live a shell of a life.
Additionally, automatic transmissions, until recently, have been significantly less efficient. Recent step-tronic and similar forms of automatic have up to 6 gears and are slightly less inefficient than normal automatic cars. The American auto market frankly is the only one in the world to use automatic heavily and thats just because we’re lazy. CVT transmissions are the most efficient but have a very low implementation at this point. (look it up if you dont know what it is). CVT is the future, but not typical automatic transmissions. Your statements just show you how clueless you are to the automotive world. You should stick to automatic and keep giving mechanics all of your money. Maybe it will help the economy.
These seem like helpful life skills for all people to possess, not just half of the population. Women shouldn’t go running to men to change their oil just as much as men shouldn’t go running to women to sew a button. Come, let us all be competent adults.
i think that one has to be able to format a computer too. it makes no sense for a guy to take a computer to a specialist when the problem can be solved by a simple format.
http://kenyantykoon.wordpress.com/
Why is the guy repairing the toilet wearing knee protectors?
NEGOTIATE!! – this is a key skill for men… from bargaining at a car boot sale (yes i am from the UK!!) to getting a deal on your new car. If you can’t negotiate then people will rip you off!!
also – disagree with sew a button… don’t know many men that see this as a key skill… i’m not a sexist or anything but i would seek out a female for assistance!!
Wow, I can do all those things. How cool is that?
I’d say basic first aid, and maybe morse code can be added on the list?
15. start using your brain. Should be No. 1. Re-think things that you do/did all your life.
- You may find that the steak is totally unimportant and the meat industry kills the planet. If you don’t understand why, see 15. If you end up in a loop here, people will call you “redneck”.
- Try to live one month without above mentiond “Entertainment Center”, especially the TV. Silly challenge? I bet you wouldn’t make it. But you aren’t a “redneck”, since you arrived here, so there is a chance.
in todays metrosexual world, men also need to know how to:
tweeze eyebrows
make chocolate fondue
very important skills for men
oh and also… talk in a lisp
It’s a little understated here but a real man will kick the living shit out of the author of this article.
Who the fuck wears kneepads when fixing a toilet?
“Biggest one I disagree with is the stick shift. They are dangerous, and more accidents happen in stick cars than automatic. Also, those who’ve trained to drive two-footed are the safest drivers (really something that must be learned upon starting to drive)- you can prevent accidents that would otherwise be impossibile for a one footed driver or someone in a stick.”
WHAT?!
two foot drivers are the worst. The reason we are ingrained to drive with one foot on the gas and use that same on the brake is because slamming your brakes while still on the gas = loss of control and traction. If you do this at a high speed you are guaranteed to spin out. Two feet driving is highly dangerous and I really hope you were being sarcastic.
As for stick vs auto… while I don’t see it as a necessary man skill I see it as one necessary for an auto lover like myself. There is a lot more control you get with a stick vs an auto. Prime examples are coming to a stop. Hitting the brake I have the engine helping me slow down as well as my brakes, as opposed to an auto where the transmission is continuing to push me forward all the time unless I am in neutral. In a stick I will have the reverse effect, to the point of stalling unless I push in the clutch. Even then, when you push in the clutch you are “neutral” so to speak, and can stop better.
The only time they are more dangerous is if you are uneasy on hills with them. Most modern sticks come with hill brakes too, to prevent this from occurring, so it’s a moot point.
Please keep in mind that your information is completely flawed. In fact, in Europe they barely have automatics. While the automatic transmission has come a huge way, it’s infinitely more complex and driving a stick gives MUCH more control over your actions. Having switched from my auto car to my stick in the past year, I really have difficulty driving an auto now.
Many of the things on the above list are bullshit, but at the same time, many things while we don’t believe necessary are important to many women. A lot of these are basic life skills (like managing our finances, etc.)
But PLEASE do NOT feed false information. if I ever knew a person two foot driving and his left foot is on anything other than a clutch I would honestly take his keys for the safety of others. If your reaction time is that terrible that you cannot move the foot off the gas to the left quickly, Practice. If not, please do not drive it’s dangerous for the rest of us!
Oh, and if your British, learn how to hide behind an American if trouble breaks out.
I got em all down ‘cept the money …am broke.
@Jaym
It is true the accident rate is higher in stick shifts, but it has nothing to do with their inherent safety. Stick shifts are bought in higher proportion by young people and males, both of which have higher accident rates. They are also bought by people who enjoy driving, so they are more likely to be hot rodding around.
I agree it is beneficial and not unsafe to learn 2 foot automatic driving. Driving schools have decided to vilify it because too many lazy people were riding the brake inadvertently and damaging their cars. It does allow you a marginally quicker response time and ability to drive smoother.
Two foot automatic driving is not the primary factor in preventing accidents that would have otherwise occurred with a solo foot driver. Much more important and likely to prevent an accident is that you are driving defensively, paying attention, and have your foot sitting gently on top of the accelerator ready to slide to the brake, rather than not paying attention and having your foot wedged around or between the pedals in some awkward way.
Jeez, you pple are so retro I can’t tell whether you’re kidding or not. You forgot “skin a brontosaurus” and drag women by their hair.
15. perform basic first aid
16. care for an infant
17. cook a decent meal (not just steak)
18. handle a firearm
19. setup a home network
needs a few more…
apply first aid
sharpen a knife
hunt/fish/grow food (you should be able to do at least one)
build shelter
tie at least 3 kinds of knots
polish shoes
clean the bathroom
Fire and clean a gun (as mentioned)
Use most common tools
Give yourself a good shave.
Um… am I the only one finding this all a bit sexist? How well do you think it would go over if it were a list for women that included stereotypical “women’s work”? When are people going to start fighting for ACTUAL equality, not just the kind that suits their purposes? Incidentally, I’m capable of everything on this list so apparently, I’m still a man for now…
This is the worst list ever. Why not add, “suck a d*^&” to the list.
Breast stroke? Check Book? Get real. Find a man in NY doing the breast stroke!
Clearly you are a car lover.
It would be utter stupidity for me to have a car living in the middle of the city working 5 minutes walking distance away. I chose this lifestyle deliberately. It pisses me off that people drive around wasting non-renewable fuel sources that cause environmental destruction (and wars) to obtain, polluting the atmosphere and damaging the ozone layer, not giving a shit. That attitude makes me sick. When are people going to wake up?
Cooking steak? I’m vegetarian. Building a fire? I’m a warden at my workplace more focused in making sure they stay out. I could not imagine how I could ever put a skill such as starting a fire to use, or any reason why I would want to. Whoever wrote this list obviously has no respect for the environment. Knowing basic first aid is far more important in my book than knowing how to start a fire.
I do actually possess most of these skills as I didn’t always live in the city and wasn’t always vegetarian, but it’s short-sighted to think this is a list that would be considered appropriate (or even ethical!) by all men.
go fast freddy jackson. :D
Jagstx pardon me but it does clearly say Basic Skills All MEN Should Possess. I see someone posted clean the bathroom… I am not going to get into equality here the title says MEN, the site is MANolith I think you need to bring it down a notch really.
Obviously you are missing the point and you need to go back to Wesleyan.
i change my mind. only two things needed:
being able to chug a beer and firing a gun. actually… just firing a gun. period. and if you have a chevron moustache while firing a gun… you’re cooler than charles bronson.
this is my favorite list ever!
so many activities!
You men complaining about the list are so hypocritical. You’re too macho to handle admitting deficiencies, so you complain that the LIST is too macho and un-PC.
I can do everything on this list, and could have at age 16, and I’m a woman.
Not being able to drive stick is my #1 reason for not going hybrid. I find in hilly terrain it makes me think a LOT more about the road conditions and drive more safely.
I don’t change my own oil, but I can. I find the mess of it and oil disposal not worth the 20 bucks plus free car wash at my local garage.
EVERYONE should be able to swim.
Being able to dress yourself well does not mean you’re a chauvinist pig. It means if going somewhere nice you can present yourself in a neat attire. This is also important for job interviews, funerals, weddings, etc. It includes tying a tie, matching a shirt, and presenting yourself as a capable adult.
You should know enough about cars to tell when a mechanic is lying. Maybe you pay anyways and not make a scene, but you don’t go back. Changing a flat tire is not hard, nor is jumping a battery. You should be able to assess the value of a house or car when shopping for reasons other than it’s color, shininess, or a gimmicky feature.
Just because you do not have a paper checkbook does not mean you do not balance it. At least check your online balances and not overdraw. Look at them once in a while to detect identity theft/ rogue charges.
If you can’t do all the things on this list, you’re likely a sissy- male or female.
Dres: Yes the Freestyle Stroke is faster and more efficient, true. But it’s also difficult for some people to get a good breath while doing the freestyle. The Breast-Stroke has always been one of my favorites because, 1. though slower than other strokes, it takes forever to get tired out. 2. No water up the nose. 3. You are always able to clearly see where you are going.
Jackie: What happens if your wonderful push button world of automation should come crumbling down? I’m not a dooms-day kind of person but it will be those that know how to take care of themselves and others that will be in control then and the people who relied on others will be left behind. This is not such a far-fetched idea. The Great Depression was not so long ago and world history has proven that societies can collapse quite rapidly.
Heath: I want you on my team ;)
AJ: What happens when you run out of bullets? (Don’t worry I’ve got few swords, you can use one) :D
And if you cannot use a map and rely on GPS to point you left, right, etc, it means you have zero spatial capabilities. You should be able to follow a map, especially if you EVER plan on using public transportation.
Can’t agree more, you women out there please try to understand we are ALL (including you) acting at our maximum. If errors occur (which they do) is because we slip, forget, under influence of drugs/emotions/distractions or something else and can’t help we were not smarter, more aware or observant enough to act better than what we did accept it, and rest assure that we had our intention and acted upon them but maybe fail to peak our personality at every given moment. But we DO HAVE moments! :)
this guy seems to explain it well (although a bit dry) http://clickheels.wordpress.com/2009/03/23/good-and-evil/
JamieIn Texas: Thank you for adding “being aware of their surroundings”. That is one of my biggest pet peeves. It drives me crazy that people do not pay attention AT ALL! Nearly every time I ride my bike I have to slam on my breaks to avoid being hit by a car, or have to stop dead in my tracks when people cut right in front of me at the grocery store (or anywhere for that matter) and of course, NEVER say “excuse me”…
But now I’m ranting. I guess I shouldn’t expect much more. I’ll just shut up and take it like a man.
-C
I like Bob Heinlein’s list better. Oh, I can can do all the stuff listed above as well and it’s also a halfway decent list.
“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”
— Robert Anson Heinlein
I’ve never actually butchered a hog or set a bone, but I know how to, and I’ve never died gallantly–but I have done all the rest.
Kage: I’m sure you are probably right about the stick-shift being phased out but the thing that I love about it is that it engages more of the person into the act of driving. You can’t be smoking a cigarette, talking on the phone, eating, drinking, or pretty much anything else but being focused on driving. I think all-to-often people just put the car in gear, push the pedal and go. If people were more engaged in the act of driving, I believe that we would have much fewer accidents. But, on the flip-side of that, being a lover of stick shift myself, and understanding that it takes some skill, those that aren’t good at it, should just go with automatic. I had the benefit of learning how to drive a stick shift out in the country where the potential for causing an accident while learning was greatly reduced.
As far as back-stroke, I have to refer to my previous comment and once again bring up, water in the nose and not being able to see where you’re going. But then swimming is similar to driving a stick-shift. As you become better at it, the more advanced strokes become more efficient. People who aren’t strong swimmers should stick with breast-stroke and side-stroke.
Have a great day!
-C
Robert: Wow! You seriously want to put that comment out there to the rest of the world? What man calls another man “Hunny”? And by the way, it’s spelled h-o-n-e-y. But maybe you forgot the letter -a- at the end of your own name. That would explain the “hot plumber” comment as well.
My thoughts on sexism: Get over it! Men and women’s brains and bodies are constructed for different skills and abilities. To be offended by that is absolutely ridiculous! Do you hear men (I mean “real” men) screaming about how they should be able to breast feed or that we deserve nicer public restrooms? Certain things are the way that they are. To put political and social agendas on them are two of the main reasons why this country is going to hell. Don’t even get me started on “affirmative action” and “political correctness”
That being said,
-Have a great day!
-C
To peterhoneymore: Why on earth would you want to kick the @#*% out of the author of this blog? And to answer the second question: “Who wears knee-pads to fix a toilet?” answer: plumbers.
Plumbers often spend a lot of time on their knees to get to the backs of the toilet and to gain access to the hard-to-reach areas. You try spending any more than 10 minutes on your knees on a tile floor – It’s not comfortable – and these guys do it day-in and day-out.
To everybody else who says that this list is sexists, stupid, macho or any number of derogatory statements – This Is Entertainment!!!… What most intelligent people call “light reading” and by the way, did anyone notice the name of the blog? This is obviously a blog about “manly” stuff. Without having read any other posts on this blog, I would imagine it’s probably on the same level as your typical Maxim or Stuff Magazine style article. If I’m wrong, I apologize to the author, but I highly doubt that this is a blog for the issues and agendas for the social roles regarding today’s liberated and socially perfected man.
Seriously! Wise up people!
…and Have a Great Day
-C
p.s. Good article. Thanks for posting.
interesting article but the problem with being a man is basically you have to know how to do everything and that which you don’t know you better be smart tough or strong enough to figure it out. that is what a man is. he is calm and conquers all challenges. the real problem come when the challenge is pleasing or understanding a woman. from my wife’s perspective, pleasing a woman is the something I think should be added. Me, for one, had no idea. I am thinking other men might benefit from some advice from their wifes also. being a man today requires different skill sets than the caveman days. sure hunting and fishing is good but guys in new york may never need those skills. i myself am an avid hunter and choose to hunt and live in areas with game but i can imagine that not everyone is like me yet they still can be a man. one final skill would be to know yourself. fix your own insecurities and seek enlightenment whatever that may mean to you.
How about: give a woman an orgasm
It’s funny because the author states that you should be able to write effectively, which “means spelling, grammar, and proper punctuation,” yet he apparently makes three mistakes that show he doesn’t understand how to use an apostrophe correctly. Hey Sean, an apostrophe is used for contractions and possession, not for plurality.
“pair of Levi’s”
“TV’s with wires”
“HDTV’s on the rise”
Anyone who disparages this list for being retro and non-pc needs to get their head out of their ass. These are all good skills to have, even for females. Who cares what’s traditional or not. The question is, when someone needs you to do one of these things, are you man enough to have done your homework and do it?
Other skills to have:
16: Load, Clean, and HOLSTER (safe) a gun. Because a real man doesn’t fire unless he’s 1. exhausted all other options and 2. 100% prepared to destroy his target. Similarly, be able to throw and take a punch, as well as recognize and avoid a dangerous situation entirely.
17. similar to knowing how to make a fire: Be able to catch, clean and cook a fish at least, but ideally rabbit or other game. Know how to make a raft or a lean-to. Know how to find water. Basically be able to survive in the wilderness a week.
18. Hunt down a deal or a spot ripoff. An uneducated consumer is a poor consumer. Also, if it it’s too good to be true, it usually is. Always read the fine print.
19. Protect your Privacy, Property and your Rights. Know how to secure your belongings, loved ones and data and learn to recognize dangerous or risky situations for them. Know the Law.
20. Ask for directions and advice. Because 99.99% of the time, someone else has already done it and failed at it. You can avoid their mistakes
21. Be able to learn or try something new – education doesn’t stop in college. Don’t be the grandpa that needs your kid to program the VCR (or open your facebook account, or who knows what gadget or gizmo is the new hotness). Also, that weird eel or pig’s foot dish at your local Asian restaurant? its actually really good eats.
22. Yes, be able to please a woman. It’s not about opening doors or buying flowers, because not all of them appreciate that.. its about respect and learning what it is she likes and then doing it. It’s also about mixing it up a little bit and not fawning over her so much that she takes it for granted.
23. Be well read and aware of current economic and geopolitical as well as some pop culture events. You don’t need to know what the exchange rate for south african rands is, but generally know where most foreign countries are and what their capitals are, as well as heads of states for 1st world countries. Know who is fighting where and why and who is up and coming and who is behind the scenes. Knowing your sports teams starting lineup and their current record will make you friends (mostly guys) while the latest pop culture will help you with most women.
23. And finally (ironically since this is a long list), know when to shut up… 2 ears 1 mouth. Women appreciate it when you listen too.
All of these are things that women should know how to do, as well. It’s a stupid list.
24. Learn to catch your mistakes and/or laugh at yourself
15. Learn to count
What! Sew on a button to be a MAN?! Should we also know how to make the perfect Chef Salad or bake the ultimate Flan. We are hard-wired to be a bit clumsy…..well, for obvious reasons. James Bond could empty out the bar, but I’ll bet never sewed on a button.
Wow – men really are idiots. Especially the ones disagreeing (probably because they CANNOT do any of those, or the add-ons). And as a woman – I do not find this article sexist, and I myself, indeed can do that whole list, except change the oil, as well as the add-ons, including fighting (just becuase I’m a girl doesn’t mean I didn’t throw punches w/ my little sister or cousins growing up) The oil thing was because my father never taught me because he said all the extra checks the shops do usually catch things I would neglect that could cause serious harm. And if a man out there in my life wanted to teach me, I would learn.
This article is a great start for men to realize their dependence on woman as well, and to be a man of 2009 – being able to drive a stick just in case is just as handy as being able to sew a button.
My motto – if you can – learn it. And if you dont’ want to – you are a lazy bum – get off your ass and make something more of yourself!
Adam, you’re clearly gay. I hate these obamaniac tree hugging liberals that think my F-150 super cab is somehow melting the ice caps ON MARS. Starting a fire, swimming, cooking, growing and hunting your own food? WTF is wrong with any of that? You know, for people who claim to just LOVE the environment so much, you sure are opposed to actually interacting with it. Isn’t that why you choose the big cities? Adam, I don’t consider your 5 minute walk down the concrete pavement that displaced millions of creatures to get to work as being environmentally sound. Fool.
Ryan, nice work man. Isn’t it great how these liberal, hippie fags go on talking about other people wronging the environment when they are all apart of the same problem. I just love listening to those people, contemplating when they will grow up, graduate 2nd grade, and get a real life. Why would I want to build a fire? Hm, maybe in case the electricity goes out and it is 15 degrees outside in NYC and I need heat, and a way to cook food for my vegetarian, homo-loving friends that don’t know how to build a fire. Get a life all of you losers who sit around on message boards like this all day and make stupid comments that further prove how ignorant 99.9% of liberal fags are in our country. Just because you can’t do any of the things on here, you want to go around telling people how wrong they are for being able to actually accomplish something with the life that God gave them. Go suck a big one.
Shave your balls.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TiJNewpCnY&feature=player_embedded
I am not nor have been a motorcycle rider but a good friend of mine is. Motorcycle riding, like bicycle riding, is one activity that teaches you to be aware of your surroundings. Growing in a crime ridden place does too. Next to motorcycle riders driving a small stick-shift car is the best thing that teaches awareness. A stick-shift driver just knows speed in relation to RPM and gear, which translate to stopping, acceleration, turning, etc. I think it was Mrk Twain that said “A hanging in the morning has a way of focusing the mind.” Kind-of like driving these days.
CJamesCote: Although I agree with your bike riding pet peeve I must also say that I have seen way too many bicycle riders who think they can break every rule of the road with impunity.
Why exactly would you need to take a woman shopping with you? Wouldn’t the better option be taking someone fashion-conscious? Because I’m a woman, but wouldn’t trust my fashion opinion.
I also don’t know many women who could sew on a button (seriously, do parents teach their children nothing these days?). Luckily, I can do it just fine, along with simple hemming.
And I’ll second (3rd, 4th?) the additions of
-caring for an infant/toddler
-pleasing a woman
-simple carpentry
Apparently many of these commenters think “complain and harp bitterly(as long as its anonymously electronic) about a time waster list that truly means nothing” belongs at the top of the list!
This is practically an advertisement for the Boy Scouts. I have four sons and we love scouting because it’s a great driver to get us all out and doing something constructive. And, yes, cooking meals and mending clothes are all taught as part of scouting–as well as swimming, first aid, safe fire management, wilderness survival (which is handy since we actually live in the wilderness), forestry, nature conservation, knife and firearm handling, archery, fishing, auto mechanics, engineering, science, orienteering, carpentry, etc…
The added bonus with the BSA is that scouts learn about ethical choices and responsible leadership.
The BSA motto is, “Be prepared.” While many of the skills on this list may not be required of us daily; some of them may not make sense in our lifestyles at all. But part of being prepared is acquiring skills you may need in an emergency situation.
What a stupid list. I mean, come on–Laundry!?! Cooking?! Even Ryan and Billybob’s mommas could do these things.
I think a lot of these things can be grouped under Making Things—taking raw materials (dirt, dead animals, veggies, needle+thread) and turning them into something useful.
In a way, cleaning, gutting, and cooking a fish you caught yourself isn’t really that different from building a hipster fixed-gear bike from scratch or hooking up an entertainment system. Or, rather, the difference lies in the materials and context, not in the skills necessary for success. They all require a willingness to take a series of small risks, learn as you go along, and get your hands dirty.
Hilarious! I’m a liberal hippie fag, I guess, but I happen to be female and know how to do all of these things and then some. What’s sad to me is that there are people on here who love the environment and yet imply that environmentalists are at odds with building fires or being outside. What planet are they from? The people I live around and love are people who spend their time kayaking, climbing, and biking, and fight to preserve the environment so “liberal hippie fags” who live in NYC city can put off the survival course for a few years. Yeah, those people may be out of touch, but if they were sprawled all over our countryside instead of packed into high rise buildings sharing their commute with thousands of other people, there would be a lot more of a fossil fuel issue.
Number one should be “Stop being oblivious.” Pay attention to your effect on the world around you on every level. If everyone were to do this, more people would find joy in driving a stick shift, following a map, changing oil, helping other people by doing for them what they cannot.
Yikes…I’ve just discovered I’m a man and nobody told me…lol Actually, there was one I don’t know if I can do…I can put an entertainment center together but can’t hook the electronics up, so I say the one ability cancels out the other. Besides, Brent added a few more to the list and I can do some them…
15. Perform reasonably well in a fist fight – Not sure…took kung fu but never actually had to use it on anyone but I have a mean jab – uppercut not so good.
16. Fire a gun – BB gun, rifle, handgun – got that covered
17. Grow tomatoes – I killed cactus so I don’t have this skill
18.Catch, clean, & cook a fish – I’ve caught and I’ve cooked but yuck – I don’t want to clean it! WOW – I am DEFINITELY a girl!!!
19. Skin a buck. – Nope…but I’ve named the ones on my guy friend’s walls…Does that count? Yes…he thought I was crazy too. Named the pheasant and longhorn too…
20. Care for an infant – That’s what those mechanical swings are for…
21. Train a dog – Someday when I get one
22. Throw a ball – Definitely! And I don’t throw like a girl either.
Now that I’ve looked at this, I’m pretty sure I’m a girl…cause look how much I wrote! ;) And yes, we girls appreciate a man that can do all 15 of the above…And if you open my door for me, I’m just going to tell you, your mama raised your right!
Yikes…I’ve just discovered I’m a man and nobody told me…lol Actually, there was one I don’t know if I can do…I can put an entertainment center together but can’t hook the electronics up, so I say the one ability cancels out the other. Besides, Brent added a few more to the list and I can do some them…
15. Perform reasonably well in a fist fight – Not sure…took kung fu but never actually had to use it on anyone but I have a mean jab – uppercut not so good.
16. Fire a gun – BB gun, rifle, handgun – got that covered
17. Grow tomatoes – I killed cactus so I don’t have this skill
18.Catch, clean, & cook a fish – I’ve caught and I’ve cooked but yuck – I don’t want to clean it! WOW – I am DEFINITELY a girl!!!
19. Skin a buck. – Nope…but I’ve named the ones on my guy friend’s walls…Does that count? Yes…he thought I was crazy too. Named the pheasant and longhorn too…
20. Care for an infant – That’s what those mechanical swings are for…
21. Train a dog – Someday when I get one
22. Throw a ball – Definitely! And I don’t throw like a girl either.
Now that I’ve looked at this, I’m pretty sure I’m a girl…cause look how much I wrote! ;) And yes, we girls appreciate a man that can do all 14 of the above…And if you open my door for me, I’m just going to tell you, your mama raised your right!
I recently discovered my husband doesn’t know how to use a screwdriver. a FREAKIN’ screwdriver. I almost divorced him on the spot. Also men should know how to use a hammer, anchor bolts, a drill, socket wrenches and allen wrenches. The basics of putting together an IKEA or Target bookshelf.
A great starter list – it looks like it really got the discussion going. I thought I’d contribute to the conversation by adding instructions for each skill:
http://taoofbachelorhood.com/2009/07/10/how-to-perform-14-basic-skills-part-1/
And LOL at the “shave your balls.” Gillette is really working hard to make us all look like either competition swimmers or gay porn stars, I can’t decide which.
The canada blow was low. I do have a good job, and am
rather happy to be living here compared to recession
ravaged america.
#1 – Learning right now.
#2 – Irreverent. Computer + plus good speakers + broadband = Portable entertainment.
#3 – Support the local economy. Watch the plumber the 1st time, so it can be done by yourself the rest of the time.
#4 – GPS & Maps are only as good as the roads are. If there are out-to-date GPS and/or Maps, then using a compass works.
#5 – Irreverent. I do not own a car. Changing oil in some others’ car was not discussed.
#6 – Irrevelent. Online banking and ATM balancing w/ Quicken and/or something similar.
#7 – Irrevelent. I am a flexiterian and non-red meat eater. I do not use a grill.
#8 – Irrevelent. I know survival training from my Military days and know how to use my pants as a floatation device.
#9 – I write for the school newspaper. The editor of paper told I me write better than some of the staff. I am an Engineer Major.
#10 – I dress for praticality because I ride a bike. Make sure the fabrics you wear can be worn in church and in a construction site.
#11 – Learned how to crosstitch in Boy Scouts. I have yet to use this skill as the buttons I have have yet to fall off.
#12 – Relevent. I do it weekly, 2x loads.
#13 – I do not own a car. I do, however, own a bike. In which case, I carry a bike pump, tire patches, and a cell phone.
#14 – Irrevelent. I do not have the space to build one and it pollutes the air. Use non-toxic portable Sterno cans.
Thank you.
Where are two BIG ones?
Tie a Tie
Polish your shoes
What a stupid article. Who is this writer to determine what skills are necessary for men to have?! It’s such a generalization of what is “expected” of men. The two most stupidest are the changing of the oil and cooking the perfect steak requirement. Sorry, but anyone living in a population of more than 100 people can take their car in to Jiffy Lube for 20 bucks. Articles such as this one are meant to manipulate/control men into feeling bad about themselves for not being (or possessing skills) what someone else thinks you should be. Anyone can come up with their own opinion of what a “man” is, then post it in an article, and have gullible men believe it as a universal truth.
Nice post – however – everyone should know how to do these things
Most men will buy diamonds at some point in their life…and it won’t hurt to do it like a man. Know your stuff so you can do it with confidence. Every one involved will feel better…and it will something you can pass on to your buddies. You’ll be the “go to” diamond guy.
Real men drive automatics because real men are secure enough in their manhood to let their gears be changed for them.