Joey Chestnut – the normal guy from San Jose, CA with a name like a porn actor – ate SIXTY EIGHT HOT DOGS in ten (!) minutes today, July 4th, not only beating out his arch rival the intimidating six-time winner Takeru Kobayashi from Japan, but also setting a new world record for hot dog eating. Because there is a world record for hot dog eating. If this was tacos we were talking about I would be the obvious winner, but, alas, the Guinness Book Of Records people have not replied to my emails and letters.
Anyway, can you imagine coming in 2nd or 3rd in a hot dog eating contest? I’m sure you’d get a couple hundred bucks, but the indigestion has got to be unimaginable. There are probably Food Groupies, too.
The contest took place in – where else – New York City, where the yearly event held on July 4th draws huge crowds and big sponsors. In the bizarre display, grown men stuff as many hot dogs as they can in ten minutes, allowing sips of water, sometimes dunking the hot dogs in the water to soften the bun. And somewhere in the world a vast majority hasn’t even had one hot dog today, let alone any food. And one dude – Mister Chestnut – just had sixty-eight.
Go ahead. Count to 68.
Ain’t that America.