Pop quiz: is the title of this post:
A. The name of a new metal band from Los Angeles
B. A game variation of Rock-Paper-Scissors
C. Something that actually happened
If you answered both A and C, then you win (look for my new album to drop late September).
The incident that serves as the inspiration for me to start a band (just so I can name it Snake Kills Baby), comes from a news story out of Tampa Bay. Apparently, a remarkably intelligent mother had somehow convinced herself that her 2-year-old child and her boyfriend’s 8-foot, six-inch albino Burmese python would make good roommates.
Sadly, the snake managed to escape its enclosure at night, and went straight for the baby girl’s crib for a midnight snack. It wrapped itself around her as she slept, bit her numerous times and then strangled her to death.
When the boyfriend awoke in the morning and found the snake still wrapped around the girl, he went medieval and took a knife and meat cleaver to the giant reptile. Injured, the snake released the girl and wandered off to lick its wounds.
When the man called 911, he explained things in a rather matter-of-fact way: “The baby’s dead. Our stupid snake got out in the middle of the night and strangled the baby.”