5. “Oh maaaaaaaan. Not cool, bro. Not cool. Dude. Dude. This just ain’t right. Do you know how much these shoes cost?”
4. “What? What do you mean we’re out of ecstacy and fruit pies? This is a tragedy. This is a Greek tragedy and I’m the star. This is the saddest day of all. I am so tragically bummed out by our lack of fruit pies. Can someone get fruit pies? Don’t I have a guy for that? And how am I supposed to bang seventeen year olds without ecstacy? This just ain’t right.”
3. “Nobody gets to see the wizard. Not no way. Not no how. I’m the damn Captain of the good ship Awesome Times and it appears we have a snag. Not to worry. It’s cool. It’s cool. I’m sure someone will stop and lend us a hand. I mean all it is a transmission, right? Why didn’t you tell me I can’t drive stick? You should’ve known I can’t drive stick and this is all your fault”.
2. “You know what the worst part is? Your face. I hate your damn face. Look, I’m Jimmy Fucking Buffet. Who wrote Margaritaville? Me. Not you. Me. And who’s trailer is this? Its mine, you asshat. You know what you can do to make this up? Get me some chicken wings. Spicy ones, too. I don’t want to feel my face”.
1. “You are harshing my vibe worse than when I couldn’t think of a rhyme for “cheeseburger”, I swear to God, dude.”