That’s right, I said Indiana Jones 5. Apparently, everyone involved are keen on doing another one, and Harrison Ford notes “We’re not getting any younger.” Yeah, man, we know. That’s part of the problem.
Normally I reserve my Hollywood Must Die posts for remakes of classic flicks, but I felt I had to make an exception for this one. If I wanted to stretch it for the sake of the form, I could argue that the last movie was itself a kind of remake, trying to capture the glory of past Indy movies for a newer generation that could probably not care less for who the hell this haggard old man might be. And hey, let’s call it like it is: any franchise that lasts this long isn’t about sentiment, it’s about money.
Also: aliens? Way to break the suspension of disbelief, guys!
So, the story for the fifth movie is in the research phase, hmm? There’s not a whole lot more that isn’t currently known about the Loch Ness Monster for folks to research. Or maybe they’re investigating Bigfoot. Ooh, I’d totally go see a movie about the Bermuda Triangle! Or, no, wait, what about this: Indiana Jones goes off in search of his own lost self-respect! Hell yeah, that’ll put butts into seats! Coming to a theater near you: “Indiana Jones and The Last Shred of Dignity”. Box office gold.