Man oh man. If erections were currency, Danica McKellar would be Alan Greenspan. Sweet mother of God. I can’t even think of a good joke… that Greenspan reference is at least three years old.
It’s weird looking at episodes of The Wonder Years now and realizing that Winnie Cooper would grow up to be such a total and ultimate babe. And whats more she’s ridiculously smart. And not just that “oh man that model knew how to get free sodas from the machine” kind of smart. She’s full on math-genius smart. She even had a scientific paper published which, as I’ve just found out, is a LOT harder than going to Kinkos with three dollars in change and a handwritten note saying “I’m smart”. That is not as easy as it sounds: she is so smart that I have become stupid by proxy of just writing about her. Durrrr. I like her boobies. They sure are purdy.
I digress. She now hosts a show on the Science Channel (check your local listings). Why not The Boner Channel? Why not The Hanging Out With Me Channel? How about her own primetime slot on The Spooning With Me And Watching Critereon Collection DVD’s Channel? I could make that happen. I have a lot of pull in this town, Danica. You are safe with me. I will be your new agent.