Chicken wings are God’s greatest gift to men. After dogs, peeing standing up, and old Bond movies. And to order in, to get food delivered, is of the highest order in a persons life. You have food – neigh – NOURISHMENT – delivered to your doorstep. You live in a place with food, your house or apartment of which there is a 99% chance that it likely came with a kitchen, but you’re too fucking lazy to cook! You have succeeded at life! You have beat up the competition and made it to the top of the food chain!

But chicken wings? Man. That’s a kicker. You can get chicken wings delivered to your DOOR. You are leaps and bounds ahead of the rest of the animal kingdom. Lions and bears are afraid of you and so is your credit card because you will soon have spent money on a ton of chicken wings. But from where?

Dominos

Amazingly, Dominos does chicken wings. You might wonder how the chicken “draft” is set up, if a chicken has ever been bummed out when they got the slip telling them they were going off to the Dominos factory. I bet these chickens were bummed. They taste like a spicy wet fart and are shockingly dry. Not a fun experience.

Pizza Hut

Pizza Hut has a place called Wingstreet in a lot of its stores now, which is basically chicken wings that you can get delivered along with your pizza or by themselves. Kind of a cool thing. I tried the spiciest kind – there is no other kind in my opinion – and I have to admit they were spicy as hell. A tad on the vinegary taste, but all in all not bad at all.

Papa Johns Wings

Not good. Not good at all. You know when someone says “oh my God! Try this it’s so spicy!” and you try it and it sucks? That’s like these. It’s like someone mixed Tobasco with ketchup or something.

The verdict:

I’ll have to say… Pizza Hut, by far, the best chicken wings. They’re not just good – but they’re spicy as hell and good to have reheated, as well. There’s a ton of options and all of them are pretty damn good, too. It’s strange. Not a single one of them was tiny or sucked or anything. All in all, glad to have found out that Pizza Hut does wings!

Also: these were all ordered in the Los Angeles area. We’re not sure about your local franchise, but we’re just speaking from the luck of our local establishments.

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