The world is filled with stupid humans. Each and every one of us knows at least one person who continually amazes us with their ability to remain alive, given their nearly complete lack of common sense. In an effort to bring this issue to light, today we’re beginning our Stupid Human Awards, honoring the intelligence-deficient members of worldwide society.
Today’s winner is the 25 year old Egyptian man who had been trying unsuccessfully for two years to convince his parents to allow him to marry a woman below his social station. After being rebuffed time and time again, the man decided he would show his parents who’s boss by taking a heated knife and severing his own penis.
After being rushed to the hospital, surgeons were unable to reattach the member, leaving the man facing a future of awkward moments around the family dinner table for years to come.
So, here’s the thing: if you’re prepared to defy your parents and buck societal trends anyway, couldn’t you just elope with your honey? I’ll admit that as a gesture to your parents meant to deny them their no-doubt anticipated grandchildren, taking your balls and going home is without equal. However, you’re also denying yourself and your loved one those same children with one fell stroke … at least, I hope it was one stroke.
At this point, the guy’s folks must be breathing a sigh of relief — any kid stupid enough to pull a stunt like this would pass these dumbass genes down to his offspring. Nice work, pal. You’re our first Stupid Human Award winner!
Comments
kent
June 3rd, 2009 - 5:03:04 PM
he chop off just his balls? or the whole apparatus? i mean, if you still have the shaft, are you good? or do you need the balls too... should probably have paid more attention in health class, lol
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