13 Robots That Are Man’s Best Friend

By Ned Hepburn on May 27th, 2009

• Share
• Link to StumbleUpon
• 4 Comments

So you’re bored and lonely most of the time, right? You like video games, right? Sure, who doesn’t, but what about robots? Forget about the Terminator Salvation type of robots everyone is talking about right now, what about the kind of robots you can hang out with, the kind that might even…get you a beer?

Robot Dish Washer

Source

If you’re like most guys, you hate doing the dishes, and you probably want a robot. Also like most guys, you probably want a robot army to do your bidding, but we’re keeping things at least semi-realistic here. In the next few years, you may actually have one of these guys roving around your kitchen, doing the work your girlfriend harasses you about every time she comes over. This guy also has a brother in development who is learning FreeStyle Walking, and will probably kick your ass at Parcourse pretty soon. You can thank the people at AnyBots for them.

Robot Truck

Source

Tired of driving to the gas station in your H2 and getting stared at so hard you could feel the word “douche bag” getting written across your forehead? Now you don’t have to, since the guys over at Carnegie Melon have rigged up the world’s biggest truck to be a huge robot. Never mind the fact that this thing is 700 tons of pure awesome; it won’t be long before your Civic can drive your mom to yoga class on its own while you watch Ninja Warrior.

Robot Dog

Source

Tired of your dog messing up your Ikea furniture and ruining your throw rugs? Now thanks to the guys at G-Robots you don’t have to worry about that, but you can still have a dog running around the house, making the ladies think you’ve been mildly domesticated.

Robot Vending Machines

Source

It always seems like anytime you need a Coke, there is no vending machine in sight. By the time you see one you’ve already broken down and paid Jamba Juice their ridiculous extortion fee and got yourself a smoothie. Coca Cola of Japan had a bright idea that is, well, for lack of a better word, Awesome. These retro-looking Coke robots can be sighted from time to time wandering around Tokyo like it’s a movie set about to get demolished. Once again, you can thank the marketing gurus at Coke Japan for this gem.

Robot Bartenders

Source

Meet Mr. Asahi, the most useful bartender you’ll ever meet. This bit of awesome is, again, thanks to Japan’s total obsession with robots, and gives us a bartender who won’t judge you (or your love for White Zin). This guy is capable of slinging beer and pouring shots, and will consistently get your order to you in under two minutes. You can catch his introduction video here.

Robot Distractions

Source

Sure, he may not yet be a real robot, but the Tofu bot has its uses in the here and now. Use this little guy to distract your vegan guests next time you have a BBQ, and then spike their tofu-burgers with beef broth while they’re preoccupied…Or, use your imagination…

Robot Secretaries

Source

If you can’t stand answering the phone every time it rings, and you can’t keep dates straight in your head, then you would probably love to have a secretary. But, who can afford to pay those wages? Today, you can just have a robot take calls for you, and jot down all your appointments. If they have a hard time recognizing the phone, it’s probably just from watching too much Youtube.

Robot Knife Fighters

Source

Imagine you’re at a bar and some guy is there getting out of hand. You try to calm him down, then out of no where, he pulls a knife on you. Now imagine that instead of pissing your pants, or getting stabbed – or probably both simultaneously – you can just yell the words “ROBOT, handle this guy.” Yeah, that’s what robots are good for.

Robot Girlfriend

Source

Japan plans on doing $10 billion in the robot business, yearly, sometime in the next decade. One sector of the industry that they’re working feverishly to bring online as soon as possible is sex-bot production.If you owned this, who could/would talk shit?

Robot Spies

Source

Thanks to the guys at DARPA, now when you don’t want to get caught not stalking your ex, you can just not insert a tiny robotic fly into her apartment so it can not fly around with a microphone listening in on everything she says.

Robot Trash Grabber

Source

We all know about Roombas, and how they’re secretly plotting to take over the world, but what about the big stuff? What about the entire plate of food you just dropped all over your carpet when you stood up to scream at your Xbox? What about the dirty socks under your bed that you’re intentionally ignoring because you don’t want to touch them? Well a robot can take care of that stuff, too.

Robot Guard

Source

When we all have robots, and every block has several roaming around washing our cars for us, there’s bound to be problems. When your neighbor’s robots start getting a little too uppity, you’re going to need something in your garage that can patrol the property and keep the peace. Let something like this guy have the job, instead of trying to stand up to the machines yourself. You’ll only look more bad ass in the long run.

Robot Suit

Source

No, it’s not a joke. You can already buy a real, albeit slow “mecha” suit right now if you have $313 grand you’re looking to burn. This guy (he’s from Japan) has the right idea though, who wants to cruise to the store in their crappy hybrid when they can walk there in a fully armed mobile suit?

You Should Also Check out: