Penis Puppet Man Arrested Again

By Akela Talamasca on May 22nd, 2009

cmons I had several alternate titles for this post, including “Taint-ed Love” and “Seriously, WTF?” but I figured this one was enough of a draw.

A Washington state man was arrested for standing over an air conditioning intake while manipulating his penis with a string wrapped around it like a puppet. Hence, Penis Puppet Man. And honestly, there really isn’t more to this story than that. It was just so weird I thought I’d share it with you.

So, I feel the need to speculate. This guy already had two prior convictions for indecent exposure charges, and here he is, still doing his little dance. The fact that he was standing over an air conditioning intake vent makes me think he was releasing some sort of odors into the apartment complex. If we’re lucky, it was just flatulence.

But there are better ways to do this, and certainly sneakier ways. Why would he risk arrest time and time again, when he knows … hold on. “He was also found to be in possession of a small amount of methamphetamine … ” OHH, now it makes sense! Man, is there nothing meth can’t do? Okay, mystery cleared up. Now the only question I have left is: Was there dialogue for the penis puppet? Was there a theme song? These are the questions that keep me up at night. And finally, how many times can he keep getting away with this before he’s finally locked away for good? I hope we get to find out.