It’s funny what you’ll find when you’re not even looking. And by “funny”, I mean “horrifying”. In a recent test of polluted air in the Spanish cities of Madrid and Barcelona, researchers of the Superior Council of Scientific Investigations reported their discovery of trace amounts of cocaine, opiates, lysergic acid, cannabinoids, and amphetamines.
While these scientists say that there is no real risk for long-term exposure to these amounts, it is a concern for the possibility of transmission of other, potentially more dangerous chemicals.
So, this shouldn’t shock anyone, really. Drug use is rampant among humans all over the globe. We’ve been struck about the head and neck numerous times by the reports of the dangers of secondhand smoke; this is no different. And this is in Spain, which isn’t necessarily known for its drug use … what must the air be like in Amsterdam? Or hell, in certain areas of Los Angeles?
What else might be floating around in the atmosphere, just waiting to be sucked into our innocent little lungs? I’m thinking: government spy nanobots. We breathe them in, and they build microscopic transmitters in our cells that monitor our every movement. In case of a new, unanticipated British insurrection, they turn our bodies into remote-controlled militiamen. I’ve always suspected this, but this was the final bit of proof! And you thought all those people were wearing those filtration masks because of swine flu. Oh, no. The sleeper has awakened! Everyone riot in the streets! Viva la revolucion!