Chickolith: Rihanna

By Ned Hepburn on May 12th, 2009

• Share
• Link to StumbleUpon
• 1 Comment

Rihanna recently had nude(!) pictures of her released all over the interwebs. This creates a certain conundrum for bloggers.

Do you:

a) post the pictures, or links to them, and thusly forward naked pictures of a woman you don’t know onto other people you don’t know?
or
b) post the pictures and go “ah, whatever”
or
c) say “I bet if she ever saw us post these she’d get really mad” and not post them at all. You secretly wish that she will recognize these efforts and eventually “go out” with you.

We can’t print the items without getting sued more times than we’ve had hot dinners, although we’re sure that if you use a search engine that sounds like “Schmoogle” you’ll be able to find them. Very fast. I’m just saying. It’s just that… well, we were kind of hoping that Rihanna would think we’re really nice people and maybe take us out for ice cream. Maybe.

Rihanna shot to stardom with ‘S.O.S’, a song that may or may not be an ironic warning of her current status as “Damsel In Distress” to Chris Brown’s “Evil Mustachio’d Man Tying Her To The Train Tracks Of  Public Discourse”. That’s just what’s weird about Rihanna: she kind of could have had it all. We were all pretty much agreed for a minute there about her Cool Black Version Of Madonna thing she had going on for a hot minute, and then she goes and dates Chris Brown, and then he beats her up, and then all hell breaks loose. AND THEN SHE STICKS WITH HIM. How does that even work? I mean, yeah, “love conquers all” and all that hodge-podge, but my God, the dude should be locked up. Agreed?

She’s had a few great singles – namely the aforementioned ‘S.O.S’, the ubiquitous ‘Umbrella’, and the increasingly awkwardly named ‘Shut Up And Drive’. She has mad amounts of talent and not a lot of time left to show it before the public turns its back and walks away. Can she make it through? Let’s find out. Until then, enjoy the gallery of photos we’ve provided.