To all of you who are on a diet for health reasons, or the desire to look good in swimwear for the encroaching Summer festivities: quit it. Just for today. Because today is Eat What You Want Day!
I was going to do a little research on the origin of this “holiday” — and let’s be clear, here: Americans don’t need any damn excuse to declare a holiday. We’ll celebrate just about anything. Expect to celebrate One Week Since The Last Holiday Day to arrive soon — but then I decided that knowing the real reason for this day would kind of ruin the magic. It’s here; that’s all you need to know.
I’ll go out on a limb here and say that our collective diets are the reason so many of us are overweight, if not actually obese. Most of us are on some sort of dietary restriction due to doctor’s orders, and that’s probably a good thing. But all things in moderation, my friends … including moderation itself. Unless you’re going to dive head first into a heaping bowl of sodium, or directly inject liquefied brown sugar into your veins, I’m pretty sure you can take today off from your tightly scheduled menu of cracked grain bread and tofu poppers to indulge yourself and, y’know … live.
Use today to remind yourself of the fun you used to have, and the enjoyment inherent in sucking down the most chemically-laden treats this side of Hunter S. Thompson‘s medicine cabinet. Remember when “going on a vacation” was your code for eating four deep-fried Twinkies? Relive those heady — and heavy — days today. You may hate yourself tomorrow, but for one, brief, shining moment, it’ll be Camelot.