What The Hell Is A Shadow Hare?

By Akela Talamasca on April 28th, 2009

• Tweet
• Link to StumbleUpon
• 2 Comments

I’ll tell you what it is. It’s Cincinnati’s newest — and only — superhero! Well, he would be a superhero if he had any powers, which he doesn’t. Nor does he have any imposing muscularity, hi-tech gadgets, or professed martial arts skill. What he does have, however, is the will to patrol the streets to fight crime and make Ohio a better place.

Shadow Hare’s secret identity remains just that, a secret. We do know he’s 21 years old (or says he is), has a MySpace page, and belongs to something called the “Allegiance of Heroes”, a widely-distributed membership of other urban pseudo-vigilantes, including Aclyptico in Pennsylvania, Wall Creeper in Colorado and Master Legend in Florida. It’s not known whether or not California’s Mr. Extreme belongs to the Allegiance, but if not now, surely soon.

Shadow Hare carries pepper spray, handcuffs, and a taser in his pursuit of justice. Like everyone is, Shadow Hare is empowered by the ability to carry out citizen’s arrests, even if police officers tend to chuckle when they see him. But if someone’s out there nutty enough to don a costume to fight crime in the streets — which most of you have wanted to do, c’mon, admit it — then I’m totally behind his campaign against evil. Fight on, noble Shadow Hare! But for heaven’s sake, get some ears on that costume. You want a distinctive profile, man. It’s called branding.