Man, I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve come home so dirty I need a bath right away, yet so tired that I can’t turn the faucets to actually fill the tub. In fact, if I had a dime for every time this happened, I’d owe somebody about $4.30. While that might not make any actual sense, there’s one product that does: the iHouse SmartFaucet.
This gizmo works on basic facial recognition. Set it up properly, and it will automatically fill the tub with the temperature of water that you like best. No more fiddling around with trying to figure out if you’ve allowed too much cold water to mix with the hot, or vice versa! No, sir, the SmartFaucet has you covered.
But let’s say that someone has you tied up and helpless, and wants to further humiliate you by taking a bath using your own special temperature right in front of you. Are you doomed to writhe in agony as the SmartFaucet spills for the ne’er-do-well like some cheap, third-world fixture whore? Hell no, it’s the SMART faucet, fool! It would take one look at the invader’s phiz and steadfastly refuse to work! Curses, foiled (and filthy) again!
And if that alone weren’t enough, you can enjoy your luxuriating soak confident that you won’t be missing that all-important Netflix communiqué or mass-broadcast chain letter while you do, because you can check your e-mail right from the bath! Holy cats on fire, George Jetson never had it so good!
The iHouse SmartFaucet: simply the latest in InterCapped, iOverused nomenclature. Brought to you by Citizens Promoting Technological Laziness.