Top 10 Things You Should Know About Dating Asian Girls

As an Asian-American female, you have to keep your guard up when it comes to dating because you don’t know if guys are dating you because they’re into martial arts or they think you look like that girl from [Insert latest Jet Li/Jackie Chan movie].

So, if you aren’t one of those weirdos with an Asian fetish, and you just think that girl with long black hair and almond-shaped eyes is just a cool person, here are some tips about dating Asian girls:

10. If you meet a cute Asian chick at a bar or club, don’t use the following words or related words; ninja, martial arts, karate, Karate Kid 1, 2, 3, Jean Claude Van Damn movies, kung fu, Anything with dragons or crouching tigers. She might throw her drink at you.

9. Don’t assume that we can’t speak English. We may be faking an accent to escape from the old, potbellied man in the corner who has traveled far and wide to “The Orient.” I’ve done this on occasion and it’s a fabulous tool to evade weirdos.

8. No, I’m not Lucy Liu or Margaret Cho. Definitely not Tila Tequila.

7. Don’t ask us whether we’re  submissive or dominant. You’ll find out soon enough.

6. Going back to #10, most of us don’t know martial arts, though we respect it. Kung fu is cool, but that is relegated for old Bruce Lee/Jackie Chan/Jet Li movies. We don’t all know kung fu moves, so don’t bust out some sort of weird karate kick and assume that it will turn us on. Because it won’t.  Instead, we’ll probably ask you if you have some sort of reflex issue and perhaps you should go see a chiropractor.

5. If you do date an Asian chick and attend a family function where you’re the only non-Asian, have courtesy and try the cuisine or try to be engaged.  You might feel out of place (Welcome to our world), but if you put forth an effort, your girl will thank you in more ways than one.

4. Don’t assume that we are all professional manicurists, masseuses or happy ending givers.   ‘Cause we’re not. Nuff said.

3. We do like/date/marry Asian guys. Asian guys are awesome from Kal Penn (Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, future employee for the Obama Administration) to John Cho (MILF guy, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle)  to Justin Lin, director of “The Fast and the Furious.”  They get such a bad rap in the media, but they are hot/smart/driven/and more… So don’t hate on them.

2. Talking extensively about your travels throughout Asia, your obsession with eating exotic forms of raw fish, and how you’d like to kick it with the Dalai Lama are cool for about 5 minutes. After that, dude, move on to the next topic.

1. We’re just like any other girl you’ve ever dated so don’t think we all fit into one specific category.   There are diva Asian girls who only wear designer clothing and only date rich guys as well as chill Asian girls who work their asses off in their jobs.  Or goth girls who rebel against their traditional parents. Some girls don’t mind dressing like the stereotype.   Some of us would yell at you if you asked us to wear a schoolgirl outfit.  Point being…we’re all different and unique.  Learn to respect that and you won’t need to be reading my tips anymore. Holla.

Hope this gave you boys a bit of clarification.