Shakira. Every time I type her name I keep misspelling it as Sharkira.
She’s, um, yeah, she’s easy on eyes, no? And she’s about 5 feet tall too. This means she wont fit into all overhead luggage compartments but that she’d also be adorable like a tiny hot person, which she totally is. Her music isn’t paticularly something that I’m into – I think my downstairs neighbor ruined all chances of that four years ago when he left the country for a week and – somehow – had one of her albums stuck on repeat (this is a true story). This is why I will never buy a CD alarm clock. But I digress.
She’s Columbian, which means you know that she’s down to party. She also has a habit of dating Really Important Dudes… having been linked to the Columbian President’s son, a high ranking Columbian Army lieutenant, and (inexplicably) Wyclef Jean. Which one of those is not like the other? I will answer you that with the hint that the guy was in The Fugees. I’m sure he’s a cool guy. With a name like Wyclef you’ve gotta be pretty rad.
She names her tours and albums things like “The Oral Fixation Tour” – which is awesome because she’s writing my own jokes for me. And her album “Laundry Service”, which went like a gazillion times platinum, after I got used to it being played 24 times a day, isn’t that bad at all. She’s got the pipes, man. She can pull off anything. She also holds the distinction of being the most played artist on radio in any given week: according to Nielsen Broadcast Data Systems, “Hips Don’t Lie” was the most-played pop song in a single week in American radio history. It was played 9,637 times in one week. That’s a hell of a lot of hips. And let me tell you, they don’t lie.
Enough with the funny stuff. I’m neglecting to tell you about her humanitarian work. She’s been constantly traveling the globe using her celebrity (I know she’s a fringe celebrity in the mainstream U.S but she’s f**king HUGE practically everywhere else) to bring attention to strifes elsewhere in the world. She’s a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, too. How cool is that?
Check out the pictures, amigos and amigas. She’s a pint sized talent of astounding measure.
