Velociraptor Hunting Trophy

By Ned Hepburn on April 9th, 2009

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You know you want it. You know you want a Velociraptor hunting trophy to hang on your wall. You know you’d be the coolest person in the entire world. Fuck, you could probably rely only on your IKEA futon and the rest of your studio apartment for the rest of your life if you had this… you wouldn’t need any other furniture. At all. That is how great this is.

It’s an exact replica of the head of the ones used in Jurassic Park. Yes. THAT Jurassic Park. This masterpiece was for auction on eBay and went to one very lucky person. With the price of only $270 it was a steal! What’s roughly a third of your rent going to matter, anyway? The landlord will understand when this bad boy arrives and you have it hanging on the wall to your studio apartment. He will understand “you” and you will be The Coolest Person Alive. Have a seat and a cigar. You’ve earned it.

Or how about hanging it in your cubicle? Bam. You’re now the most badass person on the face of the planet. I’m pretty sure if Bill Gates could pick a successor he would pick you for the sheer fact that you own a fucking Velociraptor hunting trophy.

Comments

  1. Jeremy

    April 9th, 2009 - 9:52:15 AM

    selling Jurassic Park props? someone must not have insulated well for the recession.

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  2. zaggart

    April 10th, 2009 - 7:17:12 AM

    "It’s an exact replica of the head of the ones used in Jurassic Park." So, no, not a prop. Way to read there, sport.

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  3. vapor cigarette

    April 11th, 2009 - 9:36:57 AM

    Velociraptor head $270 Beer for your buddies $100 Scaring the piss out of them with your trophy dino head - Priceless

    3

  4. Relic

    April 11th, 2009 - 1:20:55 PM

    WTF Daddy????

    4

  5. tommy

    April 11th, 2009 - 2:56:12 PM

    Now all you have to do is write the amazing hunting story and how you escaped three others just in time.

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  6. Samm I AMm

    April 11th, 2009 - 6:37:17 PM

    I saw this referenced at http://www.SubliminalMessages.Com and I want one bad. For my kitchen. Where do I go to get one?

    6

  7. jim

    April 11th, 2009 - 7:38:31 PM

    That's 270 cans you sprayed on a fucking fake dinosaur head! May god have mercy on your sober soul, you hairy virgin. goooood night.

    7

  8. Pedro

    April 12th, 2009 - 2:27:41 AM

    That is indeed cool xD Nerd ? What the fuck ever xD I would love one of those ahahah

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  9. steve

    April 12th, 2009 - 10:15:47 PM

    Wow... U hunted it, out smarted it, killed it - mhm u killed a raptor... hard ass!! and then u mounted its head.... and in ur excitement forgot to do one thing... we cant see its teeth.... epic fail. :(

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  10. Dan

    April 13th, 2009 - 8:04:03 PM

    I don't understand how people are talking shit about this. This is one of the greatest things I've ever seen. It seems funny to me that some people can call things like this "fucking nerd garbage" when you've got nothing better to do than sit on the internet and talk crap about other peoples posts. How is that not one of the "fucking nerdiest" things you could do? Unbelievable. I want this for my den.

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  11. Roger

    April 13th, 2009 - 8:13:34 PM

    I'm so envious. I would have bought that for $271! Srsly!

    11

  12. JC

    April 14th, 2009 - 4:55:16 AM

    Great trophy though, I'd pay that much for one! However, those aren't Velociraptors. Deinonychus was used as the basis for the raptors in Jurassic Park as they're quite a lot larger (and scarier) than Velociraptor. http://www.paleodirect.com/dc6-007.htm /pedant

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  13. Joe

    April 15th, 2009 - 12:10:02 AM

    Good job JC, for spotting that. if someone hadn't said it already I'd have done so. Kudos to your knowledge, sir

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  14. chetlog

    April 15th, 2009 - 12:45:01 AM

    That's Fucking A!

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  15. Ardwlf

    April 15th, 2009 - 11:31:21 AM

    It would be nicer (awesome) if it was smiling, ya know show a little tooth.

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  16. Misfiticus

    April 15th, 2009 - 5:05:44 PM

    @JC "However, those aren’t Velociraptors. Deinonychus was used as the basis for the raptors in Jurassic Park as they’re quite a lot larger (and scarier) than Velociraptor". The Deinonychus is in the subfamily Velociraptorinae. Basically you just said something like "That's not a dog, it's a German Shepherd. They're quite a lot larger (and scarier) than Chihauhaus.".

    16

  17. gamer

    April 16th, 2009 - 9:31:27 AM

    http://brututes.mybrute.com/

    17

  18. Eltardo

    April 16th, 2009 - 9:56:24 AM

    The raptor head didn't go for $270 US, it went for $660 US. Still, a great price. http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=260382416035

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  19. Heen

    April 16th, 2009 - 10:44:58 AM

    Quick! Somebody steal this and send it to Randall Munroe!

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  20. deleted

    April 16th, 2009 - 5:34:52 PM

    During filming, some of the techs were beside themselves over the discrepancy between the little 3-4' Velociraptors and the 6-7' Deinonychs. They were continually bugging Robert Bakker, lead paleo consultant, when he received a call - a giant raptor found in Utah had been identified. He told the techs about Utahraptor, making it 'okay' to create the giant Raptors Speilberg wanted (the book featured true Velos) and that's the "official" movie raptor, though yes, that's more closely the head of a Deinonychus.

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  21. Hockeywidow

    April 17th, 2009 - 6:56:54 PM

    There is also the little problem where paleontologists now agree that raptors were actually feathered animals.... Otherwise very cool.

    21

  22. Keith Berdak

    April 17th, 2009 - 9:48:34 PM

    "Deinonychus antirrhopus" ("Terrible claw with opposable hands") was the name given the creature by the late Dr. John Ostrom, who discovered it and wrote a paper about it around 1960 (He sent me a signed copy of the original paper.) It is a member of the ever-growing Dromaeosaurid ("Running lizard") family, and is also called "Velociraptor antirrhopus" ("Swift thief with opposable hands.") I believe that the 2 names are interchangeable. In Michael Chrichton's book he called them "V. mongoliensis," which were actually only about 6' long and about 22" tall at the shoulder, weighing in at about 70 pounds. "Utahraptor" was discovered as the film was being shot; 20' in length with an 18" sickle claw on each foot. "Megaraptor," about 27' long and the biggest of the lot so far, was discovered more recently in Argentina, I think. There is undoubtedly information a lot more recent; it's been a while since I've done any digging or reading on the subject.

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  23. Martin

    April 18th, 2009 - 11:52:56 AM

    TYME SEFARI INC. SEFARIS TU ANY YEER EN THE PAST. YU NAIM THE ANIMALL. WEE TAEK YU THAIR. YU SHOOT ITT.

    23

  24. diego

    April 20th, 2009 - 10:21:14 AM

    asdfasdfasdf asdfa asdf

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  25. Joe I Know

    April 20th, 2009 - 5:53:52 PM

    Thanks for the link to http://www.SubliminalMessages.Com - that site rocks! I knew I shouldn't have drunk that cough syrup before visiting, though, but nevertheless, two thumbs up!

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  26. Fag killer

    April 20th, 2009 - 9:13:00 PM

    BAHAHAHAHA at zaggart

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  27. robb

    July 2nd, 2009 - 9:22:59 AM

    lol u the coolest person alive bcos u win the raptor hunting award. how cool is that. t-rex head will be nice, though.

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  28. Pieter

    February 8th, 2010 - 12:59:55 AM

    Correction: You'd be the coolest nerd on the planet. Personally I could not live with it in the same apartment.

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