The Creepiest Mother Of The Year Award Goes To…

By Akela Talamasca on April 9th, 2009

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If you think this is a heartwarming story of familial love, then you’d best stop reading now, because I’m about to ruin your little worldview. News has come down the pipe that an Austin, Texas mother has won a court case decreeing her right to have her dead son’s sperm harvested from his body.

“I want him to live on. I want to keep a piece of him,” she told a reporter.

The woman claims that her son had always wanted three children of his own, so she wants to make this happen in his memory. She is currently working on finding someone to do the actual harvesting work within the diminishing time window before the sperm lose their motility.

Now, I think we can all understand that a mother’s bond with her son is one of the strongest forces in nature. No-one’s denying that she’s right to feel his loss keenly, and that she might want some part of him to live on, somehow. But to say that he’s going to have these potential children? First of all, how quickly did this woman make this decision? How long has she been thinking about this scenario?

Second, who’s going to bear these kids? I might be reading a little too much into this, but the “I want to keep a piece of him” line makes it sound like the guy’s mother wants to impregnate herself with her dead son’s sperm! I felt completely weirded out just typing that sentence, but c’mon, stranger things have happened in the world — this is by no means too outlandish a thought to be true.

Third, if the reason for this is because the son had always wanted children of his own, isn’t it already too late? He’s not going to be raising them or enjoying them, and they’re going to grow up with some truly bizarre ideas on what a father is meant to be.

Finally, at some point, you have to let go of those who are gone. Remember them, yes. But it’s the nature of life that all things end, and only by accepting this fact can we learn to evolve as human beings. This desperate holding on to the past does no one any good, and could be harmful in the long run. It’s time to grieve, lady. Honor your son’s memory and let him move on. We’re sorry for your loss, but please learn acceptance. Think of the children — just in a different way.