Remote-cellphone-controlled Vacuum Appears; Cats Everywhere Terrified

By Akela Talamasca on April 8th, 2009

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South Korean cellphone carrier KTF has announced its newest product, the CW100, a robot that can be remotely-controlled via a 3G-networked phone. Why would you want this for the equivalent price of $370? Because it’s not so much the fact that you could clean your house remotely that’s so cool; it’s the fact that the vacuum sends you live video to do it.

That’s right, you steer the CW100 by looking out through its built-in camera. The phone’s keypad controls its movement, and while the article doesn’t mention whether or not you can transmit your voice to a speaker in the robot, I’d have to imagine that it won’t be long before that becomes a feature, if it’s not in there already.

So forget about cleaning. Just think of all the other applications for this. You could chase your cats around the room, preventing them from sleeping all day just so they can keep you up at night with their constant yowling. You can keep an eye on your home and freak the hell out of any potential burglars simply by dogging their footsteps and mounting a tiny sign on the top of the vacuum that reads “Live Police Station Video Feed”.

But if you’re really thinking, you could make the CW100 the world’s first practical teledildonics device. I mean, c’mon. It’s so obvious. Mark my words: we’re going to witness a boom in the remote-controlled vacuum peripherals industry. Better armatures, faster engines, and the all-important piston-driven penis surrogate. The future is now.