How angry do you have to be to bite your best friend’s penis off? And not just to bite it off, but apparently to swallow it as well? That was the story from a 53 year old man from Poland, who told the police that during a heated argument over the borrowing of a trailer, his best friend hit him with a chain, pulled his pants down, and bit off his penis.
Unable to locate the penis in question it’s been concluded that the member was, in fact, eaten by the “best friend”, who now faces up to 10 years in prison.
Okay, so … I’ve been angry. I’ve been upset. I’ve even been righteously pissed-off before. But I don’t think that I’ve EVER 1) been furious over the loan of anything — much less a trailer — to the point of violence; 2) been that livid with a supposed best friend; and 3) been angry enough that hitting a wall with my fist wasn’t enough of a pressure reliever, necessitating my moving on to the forcible mastication of another man’s genitals, pursuant to swallowing them whole as a final defiant gesture. What the hell was in this trailer, the Ark of the Covenant?
Listen, kids: sometimes our best friends are the only things keeping us sane in this crazy world. They’re the ones who’ll go to the mat for you, who will comfort you when you’re down, and forgive you your worst excesses. But the next time your best friend starts chewing on your Reason For Being, shoot him right in the face. The More You Know… rainbow… star!
Comments
dan uyemura
April 8th, 2009 - 5:47:10 PM
Nice daymix widget. you dicks.
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