Guitar Table Will Rock Your Living Room. Oh boy.

By Ned Hepburn on April 7th, 2009

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So I was hanging out at Slash’s place the other day and Joe Santriani and I were playing Call Of Duty, waxing lacsidasically about why whammy-bars are better than Floyd Rose’s. And that guy from Rage Against The Machine was there… the cap wearing guy that looks like a cool English teacher. And he started talking about his Big Muff and I was like “what wattage are you using?” and he was all “man, let me show you”. And then we all started soloing at once and then Freddie Mercury came back from the dead and was all “IM OK, GUYS!” and started belting out Ram Jam’s “Black Betty”.

So needless to say in the middle of the room with all those guitar heroes is THIS TABLE RIGHT HERE. That’s right. It’s a guitar table. You heard me: a table. Shaped like a guitar. Holy fucking shit I want one of these so bad I would punch a close family member right in the face for one of these.

They’re made of solid maple – pretty indestructible – and even come with their own specialized number, just like a real Strat. There’s a Telecaster (I know!!! My favorite!!!) in the works, too, which I can’t wait to see. And these are all licensed, too, folks. The company that makes them is OFFICIALLY licensed to make these, so consider these an official Stratocaster table.

I can’t stress how badass these things are. I just emailed the head of the company and I may have actually said in the email “these are totally fucking badass”. Yup. I went to college, folks. I sure know how to impress adults with my vocab!

It’ll run you about $750 which is actually a really, really good price for a badass coffee table. So get on that table thing right here.

Specs from the website:

The Deluxe Stratocaster® Tables are made of hand-selected solid maple and are custom stained and varnished with a slightly tinted finish to resemble the tone and color of a vintage guitar. All specifications are from Fender’s very own Custom Shop. The six tuning peg caps are chrome plated steel disks and flush mounted. Lettering is silk screened on first then lacquered over for protection. The three legs are originally designed and chromed plated. Each table is also identified with a metal tag with a stamped serial number.

Dimensions:
48″ long x 15″ high x 20″ wide, 25 lbs.