New Meaning To “A Toy In Every Box”

By Akela Talamasca on April 6th, 2009

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Apparently, Oregon’s Golden Temple company offers something called “Peace cereal”. Now, you can spend some time wondering what properties a cereal must embody to effectively contain the theme of “peace”. But whatever you might come up with — organic fruit pieces, bible quotes on the marshmallow bits, whatever — I doubt that you’d have thought of printing the telephone number of a sex line on the packaging.

Yes, even though Golden Temple is hurriedly recalling all shipments containing this typo, there were still boxes of the affected cereal out there long enough for people to discover the way to, shall we say, “physical” realms of peace.

But the thing that I couldn’t let go of after reading this article was, Who the hell calls a cereal company?

If you have weevils in your cereal box, it’s either your fault and you’re a filthy person who doesn’t clean his house regularly enough, or it’s the grocery store’s fault for being filthy people who don’t clean their store regularly enough. You don’t call the cereal company for that.

If you don’t like the taste of the cereal, is calling the company going to change anything? “What? Peace cereal sucks? Oh man … we’re so sorry. We’ll close up shop right away, thank you for your call.”

If you actually liked the cereal, do you actually call the company to tell them that? I’m sure the dude manning the phone will pass that right along … to the dude next to him in the cubicle farm.

But hilariously, someone called. I’m really curious to know which of the above-mentioned scenarios was the reason for the call, and if it was used in the succeeding roleplaying session. ‘Cause whether or not you meant to call that sex line, you’re not going to give that opportunity up.