Manolith Salutes: The Hooters Franchise

By Ned Hepburn on April 6th, 2009

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Hooters. The name alone incites excitement among men of all ages, race, and creed.

And what for? It is – when all said and done – a family restaurant. A family restaurant where the waitresses wear tiny shorts, tight shirts, and sheer stockings. They serve what can best be described as bar food. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever had anything else here other than the chicken wings. The fried pickles are best left up to your imagination.

The decor is and always has been stuck somewhere between 1989 and an early Burt Reynolds movie. With the random surfboards, ancient fading photos of random celebrities who have ventured somehow through their doors, and the fact that everything is made out of the same kind of wood (to say that is an understatement. The glossy wood is everywhere you look)… it looks like the kind of place that Spuds Mackenzie would call home if indeed he was a real dog that could pay rent and talk and stuff.

But really, lets be serious. It gets a lot of flack from people for no other reason than the waitresses are wearing skimpy outfits. And it really shouldn’t. It’s no more sexist than your average beer commercial, billboard with a girl in a swimsuit on it, or any given cable TV channel after midnight.

The wings are out of this world. Let me explain. Imagine the best breaded wing you’ve ever had. Now imagine it’s super fucking spicy. Now imagine a girl in a skimpy outfit just served it to you. I KNOW, RIGHT? Why aren’t we there right now? It’s because it gets such a bad rep. Look, we can make our own decisions as men, and a restaurant like Hooters serves its purpose ten fold. There is nothing wrong with going to a place like this: where men can be unashamedly men, and be served decent food by attractive women. The only thing I can think of that carries the same sort of vibe is places like Medieval Times, which, again, serves its own damn purpose too, but I don’t see people complaining about it despite the fact that their employees I would be willing to bet are even MORE objectified than Hooters girls. It’s one thing to wear a tight outfit; it’s entirely another to wear a corset and ask “would anyone like more ale?”. Case in point. I’m not saying its the right place for everybody. It’s a place for guys to entirely Bro out. However, I think people should visit the damn place more often.

And if you’re man enough, order 20 of the spiciest wings, a pitcher of beer, and share it with your friend. Bro down. And, yes it’s trashy. Yes, it’s ridiculous. It’s the grown up male equivalent of a Chuck E. Cheese. But fuck it – it gets the full Manolith endorsement. It’s trashy, the food isn’t stellar, but goddamn it at least it’s not trying to be something it ain’t. And if that ain’t something to be proud of I don’t know what is. Like it or not, it’s a part of Americana, and we as men should make more trips to Hooters before the Oprah-ization of America finally takes over.

(Photo By: Thivier)