Manolith Interviews: A Real Man’s Beard

By Ned Hepburn on April 1st, 2009

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This man right here is Kris Payne. He is a professional photographer livng in New York City. He has a beard that some have described as “magnificent” and “awe inspiring”. For all you young cats out there aspring to the greatness that is his face-garden, I asked him a few questions about it. Here is the full interview:

Kris Payne's Beard has seen more action in the last 2 years of its existance that you have in your whole life.

MANOLITH: What was the point when you went full-on “ok, I’m growing a full wizard beard?”. What was the no-turning back point?

KRIS PAYNE: Man. What a day. I was sitting in my kitchen and had just shaved off the longest beard I had had up to that point. I shaved it into a Lennon in Magical Mystery Tour ’stache. The moment I put down my razor, I vowed never again. It was April 27th, 2007. The no turning back point had to be it’s first birthday. After a year, I didn’t really remember what I looked like without a slammin beard, so I went for it. REALLY went for it, I guess.

MANOLITH:  What kind of beard would you say  you have, and how long has it been this majestic?

KRIS PAYNE: Technically speaking I have a Full Beard with Styled Mustache. Awesomely speaking I get: young Santa, wizard, gandolf, homeless chic. This beard really started to shine about 16 months into growth.

MANOLITH: Do you have a name for it?

KRIS PAYNE: I really should.

MANOLITH:  Any beard horror stories? (pets / babies / loss of keys etc)

KRIS PAYNE: I have two older sisters with little brats. Whenever I visit, baby hands typically find their way into the beard and have a hard time finding their way back out. On my birthday in 2007, we stuck a few candles in it (not lit). I’ve had more than a few incidents with cigarettes and at a party once some douchenozzle threw something at my face while I was lighting up. Needless to say, I taught him what the fuck he did wrong.

MANOLITH: Has the beard opened any doors for you that would have previously been closed, metaphorically speaking?

KRIS PAYNE: I think more doors have been closed because of the beard; however, it is a really great conversation piece and sometimes you need that little ice breaker. It definitely has been a bullshit filter and it also weeds out superficial assholes who can’t stand to be in a room with something so beautiful and powerfull.

Finally, what sage advice and wisdom would you give to other people aspiring to your beard?

KRIS PAYNE: One – It’s a facial garden; always grow, never harvest.