Gigantic Penis May Lower Property Values

By Ned Hepburn on March 24th, 2009

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The world’s most bad ass 18 year old kept a giant penis drawn on the roof of his parent’s house secret for more than a year. Well, if I had a 60 foot penis, I’d tell everyone about it. WAKKA WAKKA.

But seriously, folks. The student – who has yet to be named – apparently in a drunken moment with his friends – drew a huge 60 foot penis on the top of his parent’s house in Berkshire, England. After more than a year, he thought they’d have forgotten about it, until a low flying plane decided to comment to the local authorities about the gigantic Johnson on top of the house. Which, if I was to be ever notified of having a giant penis, I’d want to be contacted by the authorities too.

But dear readers this is not the first time such a thing has happened. Check this out from the Phoenix, AZ newspapers from March of last year:

Ryan Walker, of north Phoenix, AZ, said that the enormous phallus was probably painted on there by band members during his bachelor party. The vast member had been there for six months, but he only found out about it when a crew from the local Channel 12 News turned up to ask him about the roof-penis.

Walker commented: ‘I think it’s hilarious. If you woke up and the news is at your house, and you had a giant penis on your roof what would you think?’

But at least he gets how silly the whole thing is, with the economy and all. I mean, wouldn’t you? You’d think that would be a selling point. Not only does the house have a huge backyard but also a giant penis on the roof. That’s not something every house in this neighborhood has. Just think: you’d be one of the only people to really know that you were sleeping underneath a giant penis. How’s that for peace of mind, huh?

Walker says that he plans to paint over the roof penis in the spirit of good neighbourliness – but maintains that penises on roofs could be just the thing that America needs in these troubled times. Placing the huge dong in context, he noted:

‘With the economy, with the Bear Stearns thing happening today, why not a giant penis on the roof?’