The Doucheflask

By Ned Hepburn on March 13th, 2009

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Behold, The Doucheflask. The pinnacle of greatness.

There’s two types of people in this world: people who have flasks, and people that do not. People who have flasks know how to party but there’s a complete lack of, I don’t know, tact. So how about you get all that introductory nonsense out of the way? How do you just the person know “Hey, I’m a douchebag with a flask!”.

Simply put, you put the word ‘Douchebag’ actually on the flask. It’s a surprisingly simple gesture that goes a long way. Do you think they won’t understand? Think again: this beats them to the punch. You are that douchebag with a flask full of Jameson at the wedding. You are that guy. You are making life work for you.

There are other flasks, too, dear readers. Yes. There is one that says “Asshole” in brown letters (like poop! geddit?). Maybe you are mating with another functioning alcoholic: a female Chaplin to your Charlie. Then she can have one that says “Bitch”. Think about the possibilities here, folks. You could give one to your friend, and another to your lady. Ho. Lee. Cow.

Behold, the doucheflask, at the urban outfitters website.